I tried the syflex demo, but it was too finicky..one thing selected in the wrong order and you had to start over. Maybe it was a limitation of the demo, but I also couldnt get it to do a simulation again. So at this time, not worth buying it.
I already have Marvelous Designer, which is fast at simulating, the only drawback there is I have to make sure the LW object is exactly what MD is using because of the MDD.

Both LW's old clothfx and bullet also couldnt rise up to what I need. hehe.