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biliousfrog
02-06-2009, 04:15 AM
From CGTalk: http://forums.cgsociety.org/showthread.php?p=5664917#post5664917

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

pmG Unveils Flashy Headline Grabber
Minor Tweak Brings Major Hyperbole, New Compliments, Enhanced Media Coverage

Los Angeles, CA -- February 4, 2009 -- pmG Worldwide, LLC. a leader in the world of computer-generated character animation and rendering, today announced the immediate availability of a flashy new feature name designed for maximum publicity: Dynamic Pan-Polygonal Reactive Illumination. Although still in the development stage this new feature-- part of an entire suite of new tools with attention-grabbing qualities-- will be seen far and wide as a milestone in artificial publicity hype.

While the new feature has no immediate application for computer animation, and indeed is nothing more than a clever name, users around the world are lining up to express their excitement. "This is exactly what I've been waiting for since my Dad got me the first version of the software," says Max Carver, a hobbyist from Maplethorn Wisconsin. His sentiments are echoed by Brian Combes a digital artist at Aisle-M: "I'm not sure what the hobbyists will use this for, but for us these cutting edge tools are not only necessary, they're important."

Although just a name (and acronym), DPPRI has already revolutionized certain aspects of the already recently-revolutionized computer graphics industry. "The importance of this technology can not be overstated," says Ethan Edwards, pmG's Vice-President of Forum Posts. "And this is an industry where revolutions are extremely rare, sometimes only occurring once or twice a month." Yet as the beta team agrees, this is the most important revolution in weeks, and they can not wait to find out what it acutally does. "I was skeptical at first, says beta team member Lou Gordon, "but now I'm firmly convinced and I'm totally stoked. This is exciting stuff. What are girls like?"

Mr. Edwards promises that this feature will far outshine all other features announced within the past few weeks or so. "I've been in this industry for many years, but this is a true first-- no feature has ever had this name," he says. "We've got a winner here," concurs Buck Smithers, Assistant to the VP of Icon Design. "We're already starting to see the story picked up on the forums and mailing lists, so we're confident that this is exactly the kind of thing people will drone on cluelessly about and demand in their own software packages, where it will remain completely unused."

The new feature's name is available immediately, however pricing and a release date for the actual software is being held under tight wraps. "Let's not start in about release dates and stuff like that. Let's just enjoy the moment and spread the word far and wide," says Mr. Edwards.

Founded in 2000, pmG Worldwide is a recognized leader in researching, developing, and delivering innovative techniques and technologies in character animation, effects, and high-quality photorealistic rendering, for computer graphics professionals. http://www.projectmessiah.com

biliousfrog
02-06-2009, 04:16 AM
It's quite funny until you realise just how similar it is to another recent, non-committal press release.

dmack
02-06-2009, 04:31 AM
Brilliant. I think it'll be far too close to the bone for some people but actually speaks volumes of truth!