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View Full Version : Jokes, which aren't funny



Thomas M.
08-11-2008, 01:23 PM
http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/137253/SCT/1

bta1701
08-11-2008, 01:45 PM
Only $30? I think I'll get three of them, since I'll need more than one to build a good fire...

bart

shrox
08-11-2008, 01:55 PM
Yeah, but that was placed 7 years ago. Do you realize all the supercomputing that went into making that brown twinkie, err, untextured log?

shrox
08-11-2008, 01:57 PM
Look at his every popular reversed faces building. Nice.

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-skyscraper-building-housing/136833

JBT27
08-11-2008, 01:59 PM
And just so we can see it's value for money, all angles and the mesh.....even 15 years ago that would have been a joke.

Julian.

JBT27
08-11-2008, 02:00 PM
Look at his every popular reversed faces building. Nice.

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-skyscraper-building-housing/136833

Don't knock it.....the Tate Modern pay ALOT of money for stuff like that with the right label attached.....

Julian.

Thomas M.
08-11-2008, 02:29 PM
Could we collect links to the shittiest models with unbelievable prices?

Matt
08-11-2008, 02:33 PM
This is just awesome, not!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/stickey-note-pad-3d-model/137196

Matt
08-11-2008, 02:37 PM
$150 for this? Hmmmmm, think not!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/videocassette-cassette-video-3d-model/204522

shrox
08-11-2008, 02:37 PM
I'll bet it was some kid that made and posted these and is now grown up and terribly embarressed by their existance, or at least we can hope so...

akademus
08-11-2008, 02:39 PM
Beauties...
I really dig the log. Could use a few of them :D

Matt
08-11-2008, 02:42 PM
Another great deal!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/slice-bread-3ds/228998

Jim_C
08-11-2008, 02:46 PM
Another great deal!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/slice-bread-3ds/228998

Toast it, add four fried chickens and a Coke.

OOZZEE
08-11-2008, 02:47 PM
for the log/twinkie thingy.... its a 3ds file format... how hard would it be to convert it to a LW object ? Would the texture import well ?

my god, who would have actually bought that ????

I dare someone who has access to the 3DSmax forum to post that link !!!! with 3DS 2009 as the title !!! LOL

JBT27
08-11-2008, 02:49 PM
Another great deal!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/slice-bread-3ds/228998

That's a monstrous rip-off.....you can get a burger for only $37 :D

Julian.

IMI
08-11-2008, 02:50 PM
I wonder if he began with that one lo res log and slowly grew houses out of it over the years? ;)

Limbus
08-11-2008, 02:54 PM
My new Girlfriend for 134$:
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-face-head-girl/252736

"Guaranteed quality model and his proportion exceed maximum niceness and there highest resolution." only 10.000$
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/05---ancient-egypt-3ds/388077

Watch the Oscars on this uncomfortable chair for only 3000$. The original can't be more expensive.
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-04---theatre-seat/386614

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-08---cattail-01/388289

Now lets find the best model for the lowest price ;-)

Cheers, Florian

Thomas M.
08-11-2008, 02:57 PM
I actually bought the burger for a recent project. Not bad at all.

I like the stickers, though it's to abstract. I dig the log. Modern art at its best.

Thomas M.
08-11-2008, 03:03 PM
There seems to be no control on Turbo Squid. Every moron seems to have unlimited possibilities to go bersek. 10.000$ my anus.

Limbus
08-11-2008, 03:29 PM
There seems to be no control on Turbo Squid. Every moron seems to have unlimited possibilities to go bersek. 10.000$ my anus.

You don't get maximum niceness for free :D

Matt
08-11-2008, 03:52 PM
My new Girlfriend for 134$:
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-face-head-girl/252736

"Guaranteed quality model and his proportion exceed maximum niceness and there highest resolution." only 10.000$
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/05---ancient-egypt-3ds/388077

Watch the Oscars on this uncomfortable chair for only 3000$. The original can't be more expensive.
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-04---theatre-seat/386614

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-08---cattail-01/388289

Now lets find the best model for the lowest price ;-)

Cheers, Florian

Is that VUERTION guy serious!?!?! What a joke!

shrox
08-11-2008, 03:56 PM
...

"Guaranteed quality model and his proportion exceed maximum niceness and there highest resolution." only 10.000$
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/05---ancient-egypt-3ds/388077

Watch the Oscars on this uncomfortable chair for only 3000$. The original can't be more expensive.
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-04---theatre-seat/386614

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-08---cattail-01/388289

Now lets find the best model for the lowest price ;-)

Cheers, Florian

I am guessing it is a currency exchange issue. I doubt the seller realizes the outragousness of his pricing. Or, maybe it's a front for the mob to launder money.

Iain
08-12-2008, 08:20 AM
10.000$ my anus.


I'm sure it's great but no thanks!

Andyjaggy
08-12-2008, 10:03 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/gotal-car-petra-3d-model/289633

gotta get me one of those cars, it's only worth 956 if it's a hybrid though.

Andyjaggy
08-12-2008, 10:05 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/steam-traction-c4d/399970

Heres an expensive one that maybe might actually be worth it.

Andyjaggy
08-12-2008, 10:06 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/hand-c4d/346978

This one wouldn't be worth it except for the excellent texturing job which makes it a bargain.

hrgiger
08-12-2008, 10:27 AM
This one shows the TRUE power of NURBS surfaces...

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/166656

I think Bay Raitt did this in his early days....

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-human-head-male-model/378777

UltraRealistic Cloth Dynamics:

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-ghost/237269

hrgiger
08-12-2008, 10:41 AM
A few more, sorry, I can't help myself.

Kewords for this model 'pretty' 'cute' 'babe' 'sexy' 'beautitful' :

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/maya-nude-woman-character-female/408663

This guy (lightwave user) said he couldn't texture this one because he has a very slow computer:

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-of-monster-head/153900

A steal at $25. It's scary all right:

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/299121

Simon
08-12-2008, 01:03 PM
Kewords for this model 'pretty' 'cute' 'babe' 'sexy' 'beautitful' :

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/maya-nude-woman-character-female/408663


Yikes!! The thumbnail of the "beautiful young female" to the left of the one firing the pistol made me spit my beer over my keyboard. Miss ... put the gun down and step away from the motorbike.

Matt
08-12-2008, 02:12 PM
Yikes!! The thumbnail of the "beautiful young female" to the left of the one firing the pistol made me spit my beer over my keyboard. Miss ... put the gun down and step away from the motorbike.

LOL, check out the 'smile' morphs! Downright freaky!

shrox
08-12-2008, 02:52 PM
The boobs are obviously implants, and it looks like she had Jack Nicholson's surgeon from Batman.

zapper1998
08-12-2008, 03:32 PM
OMG

a little brown log.....

ok lets put a sphere up there for, $0.69 cents

Michael

ItsPete
08-12-2008, 06:36 PM
oh you could get a HECK of a lot more for a sphere!

Matt
08-12-2008, 06:47 PM
OMG

a little brown log.....

ok lets put a sphere up there for, $0.69 cents

Michael

If it's a sub-d sphere you can triple the price! :D

Hopper
08-12-2008, 07:35 PM
...Could we collect links to the shittiest models ...
Sorry, I can't create a link to C:\Dev\LighWave\Hoppers_Models :D

But I have to admit, even my no-talent-havin' a-ss can make a better log.

hrgiger
08-12-2008, 07:47 PM
If it's a sub-d sphere you can triple the price! :D

Sure, at subdivision level 3. I say we pump it up to level 8 and see what we can get for it. Put some tessalation on it and we're golden.

Matt
08-12-2008, 07:52 PM
Worth the $400 for the awesome clay texture :thumbsdow

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/citroen-cars-max/230900

HIGH resolution 3D scanned data? Hmmmm, looks more like a Poser model export to me!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/head-realistic-female-3d-model/204286

Steamthrower
08-12-2008, 07:56 PM
Really all pretty pathetic. No currency exchange confusion can account for all of this crap. I think I'm going to start selling a "primitive pack" which includes not only spheres, cubes, cones, and cylinders, but also donuts, gears, and flat one-sided planes.

$500.00 sound a decent price? I'll export a UV map to go along with all these too, as a bonus.

Matt
08-12-2008, 08:21 PM
$500.00 sound a decent price? I'll export a UV map to go along with all these too, as a bonus.

LOL

Hopper
08-12-2008, 09:07 PM
Really all pretty pathetic. No currency exchange confusion can account for all of this crap. I think I'm going to start selling a "primitive pack" which includes not only spheres, cubes, cones, and cylinders, but also donuts, gears, and flat one-sided planes.

$500.00 sound a decent price? I'll export a UV map to go along with all these too, as a bonus.

Oh, but wait .. there's more!!!! Act now and we'll throw in this incredible teapot, cow, and eagle in a barrel! A $4,000 value!

iconoclasty
08-13-2008, 09:05 AM
Oh yeah? for $100 I'll model you an entire starfield.

3DGFXStudios
08-13-2008, 10:28 AM
LOL! Hilarious!

hrgiger
08-13-2008, 10:38 AM
Oh yeah? for $100 I'll model you an entire starfield.

Sadly, I think someone would actually buy that.

Simon
08-13-2008, 11:32 AM
Keywords: scary ferocious reptile

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/136693

___mats___
08-13-2008, 01:07 PM
best thread ever !

shrox
08-13-2008, 01:45 PM
I searched for all the free models on TurboSquid, some of them are very good, even a few cubes in there for FREE!

Matt
08-13-2008, 01:52 PM
Keywords: scary ferocious reptile

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/136693

ROTFL, good one!

Matt
08-13-2008, 01:54 PM
Keywords: futuristic car

A steal at 50 bucks!

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-coupe/136941

Dang, just noticed it's that 'Epic Software' guy again! He really does have a collection of Bobby Dazzlers doesn't he!

Sarford
08-13-2008, 02:00 PM
This is a nice one too, it might have been worth it if it was golden.

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/136806

shrox
08-13-2008, 02:04 PM
Dang, just noticed it's that 'Epic Software' guy again! He really does have a collection of Bobby Dazzlers doesn't he!

They are all from early 2001, I guess he thought he would just sit back and let the cash roll in.

Matt
08-13-2008, 02:19 PM
They are all from early 2001, I guess he thought he would just sit back and let the cash roll in.

He thought wrong!

:D

Simon
08-13-2008, 02:42 PM
Keywords: Awesome Dude

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-man-basic-figure/377092

Simon
08-13-2008, 02:48 PM
Keywords: Sexy Babe

Additional author information: "You can take off her clothes."

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-sweet-vampire/344593

shrox
08-13-2008, 02:55 PM
Keywords: Awesome Dude

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-man-basic-figure/377092

Awesome dude trapped in an awful body?

Cougar12dk
08-13-2008, 03:17 PM
Hehehe, yea they HAVE to set the prices that high with the amont of money TS takes when/IF they make a sale. TS is a freakin' hoax for the artists. They take HALF every time you make a sale. And then you have to pay an exchange fee to convert the dollars earned to your own currency (if you're not american). THEY ARE A ******' RIPOFF!!!!

I have acouple of models on there, that are priced quite a bit lower than those pieces of crap and the few times I have sold them, I have ended up with maybe 5 dollars to myself. Juuuust rediculous. I have nothing but a truckload of loath for TS.

danielkaiser
08-13-2008, 03:31 PM
Careful this guys a LW user.

http://epicsoftware.com/index.php

shrox
08-13-2008, 03:32 PM
Hey, when is the last time anybody saw some activity at 3D Cafe? The have been saying they will be back for almost 3 years now. Not that it was great, but it was free, and used a few free sound effects from them.

Steamthrower
08-13-2008, 04:00 PM
Gosh, I submitted a free spaceship model about a year ago and it's the highest rated in the category. Makes me feel all warm inside, knowing that 344 folks have found my little 45-minute knockup 5-star...

...actually that speaks more about the crappy models on Turbosquid than anything else.

Cougar12dk
08-13-2008, 04:04 PM
Careful this guys a LW user.

http://epicsoftware.com/index.php

*Shudders* Oh my :p

ItsPete
08-13-2008, 04:37 PM
that snake is FEROCIOUS! and only $30! humpf!

though i gotta say the egg looks like a better buy...

Steamthrower
08-13-2008, 09:08 PM
I'm getting the feeling that a lot of this stuff was made by a few enterprising teens with a copy of Anim8or or pirated Maya or something.

shrox
08-13-2008, 09:24 PM
...though i gotta say the egg looks like a better buy...

Maybe it's a faux Faberge egg.

Wrap
08-14-2008, 05:40 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/tanker-3d-model/389733 (a little expensive me thinks)

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/304202

http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/275964 (is it me or is the sky upside down, it hurts my eyes)

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-model-crazy-alien/290203

(this last one is from the supreme 3d master...) I wonder if its any relation to Norman Bates...

Limbus
08-14-2008, 05:43 AM
[url]http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/275964 (is it me or is the sky upside down, it hurts my eyes)


I think he mapped a 360 sky onto the camera perspective. LOL

Steamthrower
08-14-2008, 06:51 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/304202

Editable polygons?

Unlike the non-editable ones?

Iain
08-14-2008, 07:04 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/maya-shedemon-babe-sexy/154163

She demon sexy babe, of course.

Cougar12dk
08-14-2008, 07:06 AM
Pure genious

Limbus
08-14-2008, 07:09 AM
For the kitty lovers here:
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/max-animation-funny-cat-cartoon/383541
Just 600$

Wrap
08-14-2008, 07:12 AM
For the kitty lovers here:
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/max-animation-funny-cat-cartoon/383541
Just 600$

$600, fantastic, I am getting my credit card out now.

Iain
08-14-2008, 07:22 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-realistic-male/272732

This one actually would be a bargain at $199.

What's with the "old male" description though. 40 is old?!!
I've only 4 years of youth left!

Wrap
08-14-2008, 07:26 AM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/pie-box-max/333452

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3d-box-carton-container/336944

http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/crate-box-3d-model/185469

mmmmm boxes.....

silviotoledo
08-16-2008, 03:04 PM
Come on, you're looking only at the geometry and polys
look at the tasty :) and you will see it's still cheap :).




http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/137253/SCT/1

Tasty chocolate bar only $ 30.00


http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/slice-bread-3ds/228998

Tasty bread only $ 81,50

jahn
08-16-2008, 03:10 PM
i have a little money collected in turbosquid and i am not an american citizen. They make it so harder for a non american to be paid that my money is there for 2 years i think. any body know an easy solution.

i know it's no joke and not funny neither but need help anyway

silviotoledo
08-16-2008, 03:16 PM
Wanna buy my teapot?

I worked hard to modelate it!

TripD
08-16-2008, 09:14 PM
http://www.turbosquid.com/FullPreview/Index.cfm/ID/137253/SCT/1

heh.... It's a Lincoln Log before they took an Adze to it!

errrrr..... or is it just the remnant from a high fiber diet?

TripD
08-16-2008, 09:19 PM
http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/3ds-max-realistic-male/272732

This one actually would be a bargain at $199.

What's with the "old male" description though. 40 is old?!!
I've only 4 years of youth left!

Is it just me, or does that guy look a bit like Patrick Stewart?

eburdeinick
10-13-2008, 08:26 PM
Those are AWFULL models ! I think those people starved to death cause they couldnt sell NOTHING !