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View Full Version : Silly things clients say or do (A Rant).



mrpapabeis
06-08-2007, 09:04 AM
Ok, here are some of the " better" (bitter) ones;

1) Can't we hire some college students who need drug money?

2) Can I get a copy of your software? It's not for us, it's for a friend. By the way can write down what settings you use?

3) You charge too much. After all you are working in an air conditioned office.

4) Just start us off by showing us what to do. We'll take it from there.

5) We can only pay $200 (really cheap) for this project (worth at least $3,000). But the good news is that we have lots of bussiness for you at that dirt cheap price. Please send your demo reel, as we are hireing only the best for this project.

6) Since we are such a prestigeous law fim, you sould pay us(they were serious).

7) The computer does all the work for you anyway.

8) We are hiring So and So, cheaper than you are. So and So calls me up and asks for advice on how to do the project.

9) You do what exactly for a living ? Pfffff! You need to come fishing. A mans job (this from an Uncle).


I'm sure someone can outdo these...

GP

Wonderpup
06-08-2007, 09:45 AM
There's a massive thread of these over on CGTalk. I quite like this question that was put to me with a perfectly straight face; " Do you really need to know what music track we're going to use just to animate the dance sequence?"

Sande
06-08-2007, 10:08 AM
"Can you send it in a higher resolution?"

Well, I guess I have to explain this one a bit... I had a client once who wanted to see my preview rendering in a higher resolution. The preview I had already sent had been in 1280x1024 (which was actually also the resolution they wanted the final image to be rendered). I didn't see much point in higher resolution, but then again it was a quick thing to render, so I sent them another preview which was in 1600x1200. And again the client wanted me to render the preview in higher resolution...

Luckily we had a meeting that same day and there I saw what the problem really was: the client had viewed the renderings in a small window in Window's own image viewer and was not aware you could also view the image in fullscreen...

I guess we both learned something that day.

Wonderpup
06-08-2007, 10:27 AM
That reminds me of another classic. I was selling paintings at a craft fair and had big sign up saying 'original paintings' in the hope it will help sales.
So this guy stands there for a bit, and finaly points to one and says, " I really like that one- have you got it in smaller size?"

Steamthrower
06-08-2007, 12:14 PM
"Can you slow down the particles entering the machine by 0.5 seconds?"

I did. It was by the hour.

trentonia
06-08-2007, 12:51 PM
Have you been to guru.com to see some of the job descriptions there. Some of those people are idiots, and I quote: "I'm starting a new business and need a logo design. It must be completely different than any of my competitors. When people see it, they need to know exactly what my company does. I want something new and exciting. I want a swoop or two. When people look at it, they should instantly think of my company. I have a budget of $25.00"

I also hate it when people find out that I can draw and paint and say, "Oh, you'll have to paint me a picture." And, they look so hurt when I respond, "Oh, and you'll have to pay me big money." It's like they think that God gave you these talents and now you have to give them away. I don't meet a guy that does carpentry and say, "Oh, you'll have to build me a house."

geez

oDDity
06-08-2007, 01:20 PM
'remove his cock and balls, and we're good to go'

Andyjaggy
06-08-2007, 02:30 PM
I always get annoyed when you tell a client several time "This is a preview" "A rough render" "There will be noise and grain" etc..... and then without fail they say, well it's perfect except I don't like the noise. Sigh.

Bog
06-08-2007, 03:44 PM
"Can I have that video at 72 DPI?"

Hnnng.

Captain Obvious
06-09-2007, 11:50 AM
"Your computers are WRONG!"

Bog
06-09-2007, 12:58 PM
"Can you make it opaque?"

"Sure."

*makes non-see-through surface*

"No, I mean opaque like glass."

Hnnggg.

Panikos
06-09-2007, 02:38 PM
Sometimes, I was given the Voice over text as a scenario.:hat:

Captain Obvious
06-09-2007, 06:16 PM
"Can you make it opaque?"

"Sure."

*makes non-see-through surface*

"No, I mean opaque like glass."

Hnnggg.
It makes my brain bleed. :(

cholo
06-10-2007, 12:09 AM
"I want to change the music. You see, there's three vital elements in video... There's the visual side, the audio, and... oh, there's only two... Anyway..."

brian.coates
06-10-2007, 05:12 AM
I'd love to know what they thought the third one was...

Bog
06-10-2007, 05:52 AM
I'd love to know what they thought the third one was...

So would the client :P

ted
06-10-2007, 10:49 PM
Or when a client went to an out of town agency and they wanted YEARS of footage rendered as Uncompressed .avi's for an AVID system but didn't understand why they should pay for the days worth of work???

I told the new agency they could have all the Beta Tapes for free, but they were positive the quality wouldn't be as good from the "original" Beta as an uncompressed .avi. :eek:

I charged them for days of converting all the footage! :thumbsup:
In less then a year, the client came back anyways! :D

gatz
06-10-2007, 11:30 PM
Working on a science biology project. The client says they want the art to look "juicy." Lush, juicy art is created. Client says to lose the "white spots" (the specular hilites). Done. Client says it doesn't look "juicy" anymore. Interactive session commences. 10% hilite. Not enough. 50% hilite. Not juicy enough. 60, 70, etc finally 100% hilite returns. Bingo, thats juicy art.

And of course. "Make the logo bigger." This should be on every studio's call waiting music queue.

http://www.creativetechs.com/iq/make_the_logo_bigger_the_song.html

rg

starbase1
06-11-2007, 02:39 AM
'remove his cock and balls, and we're good to go'

Good grief.

Why do I suspect that your client had already used this service personally?
Nick

Red_Oddity
06-11-2007, 02:48 AM
'Why are you using such old slow machines?', the client said sitting next to me while my dual Xeon 5355 with 8GB memory was churning out a 1.5million particles simulation doing about 1 frame every 10 seconds.
(Cache files where about 140MB per frame)

Cougar12dk
06-11-2007, 03:40 AM
Heh.... Some people are just funny in their ignorance

trentonia
06-11-2007, 09:22 AM
Please always remember and never forget...all clients are dogs...they need to pee on it to mark their territory. That's why I always charge by the hour and never give a flat rate.

LightWuv
06-11-2007, 03:53 PM
"I need these photos up on my site"

"How big do you want them, i.e. how many pixels wide and high?"

(Looks at passport photo in hand, as if counting pixels)

"The same size as this, but I don't know how many pixels this photo is"

Cute girl, told me she knew web design and photoshop before this incident.


Oddity, what kind of unexpectedly repressed project was that?

Wuv

Bog
06-11-2007, 06:19 PM
*hangs up phone*

"We need it tomorrow"

*smacks head against desk*

I don't charge enough for this sh*t

Red_Oddity
06-12-2007, 01:12 PM
hmmm...appearantly the 'delete post' button is missing...moderators, if you please...destroy this message.

Jim_C
06-12-2007, 01:20 PM
"Can you make it sound red?"

Titus
06-12-2007, 03:37 PM
"Can you add Closed Captions to our videos? you know, that system for blind people."

Tzan
06-12-2007, 04:07 PM
"Can you make it sound red?"

You made me remember an art college project. We had to make a 3D (real life not CG) object that made sound. I made a sand hopper that had a removable bit at the bottom and the sand dropped onto different materials, tin foil, sand paper etc...

There was this other guy who brought in a red strobe light. With room darkened, strobe on, he claimed "it kind of makes a sound".

For some reason we both got a "B". Since its a pass/fail class I didnt bother to argue, although fellow students thought I should.

starbase1
06-12-2007, 05:06 PM
"Can you add Closed Captions to our videos? you know, that system for blind people."

You think that's silly? The UK government gives you 50% discount on a TV license if you are blind!

Titus
06-13-2007, 12:27 AM
Lol.

Nangleator
10-25-2007, 02:02 PM
...all clients are dogs...they need to pee on it to mark their territory....
Thus comes the strategy of the 'helicopter.'

It's the incredibly stupid or obnoxious thing you add to an otherwise perfect job so the client can feel good about taking it out, thus leaving the rest of your work intact.

"Helicopter" comes from a video producer who used to add an aerial shot in every proposed budget so the customer could say, "Whoah, that's expensive. Let's nix that." That way, the video producer could say, "Good idea!" and keep his sound man and light rig.

One of my stupid client stories: Client wanted a guidewire image on the back of a 2-page brochure. This guidewire was 150cm long and .038" thick. I said, "You sure you need the whole thing? It's a guidewire." She said yes. I had to curve it into some cool shapes to fit the whole thing into the space provided. Client says, "It looks thin!"

***

Another: "This part looks fat and that part looks thin. It's the same diameter along the whole length."

"Yes, but that part is far away, and this part runs right by the camera, see?"

***

And: "This part is brown and that part is blue. It should all be one color."

"But it's a clear product. It shows what's behind it. Get it?"

"No. Make it 'clear' colored."

***

I mean, geez. Don't their eyes work like mine do? How can they not get perspective or transparency, or refraction or fog or reflection? If I hear "Make it silver color" again I think I'll scream.

Oh, and how about putting blood, sweat and tears into a beautiful model of a product, lighting it with skill and taste, and having the client say, "It's supposed to be PMS 541c. You've got brighter parts and darker parts here. Make it all a solid color." I have actually pulled a client's product out of my desk and pointed at it with a pen saying, "see how it's brighter where the light hits it?"

These people wouldn't tear the controls out of an airline pilot's hands so they could fly themselves. They wouldn't tell a doctor where to cut. How come I got started in an industry where every client thinks he knows more than I do?

Bog
10-25-2007, 02:04 PM
"No. Make it 'clear' colored."


AIIIIEEEEEAERRRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! :bangwall:

Steamthrower
10-25-2007, 02:24 PM
That story hurts me deep inside.

Still, it's the "please make it 640 pixels by 480 pixels at a resolution of 300 dpi please" that kills me. Especially when a *DVD producer* tells that to me! Come on!

This is a field in which the Intelligentsia can bash in the heads of the populace with ease.

Mr. Black
10-25-2007, 02:27 PM
Client: "can the sandwich (3d character) be 20% more motherly"

Me: "I'll check the slider..."

Bog
10-25-2007, 02:30 PM
"I need it to feel more orange. No, not look more orange - just the feel of it"

No more drugs for you, m'laddo.

flakester
10-25-2007, 02:33 PM
Client: "can the sandwich (3d character) be 20% more motherly"

Me: "I'll check the slider..."

lmfao!!
Man, I gotta remember that one!

flakester

Bog
10-25-2007, 02:41 PM
Hnnngg, lord - just remembered.

"My console does these graphics in realtime. PCs are crap"

flakester
10-25-2007, 02:54 PM
Hnnngg, lord - just remembered.

"My console does these graphics in realtime. PCs are crap"

Classic.

The old adage is true......
A 'little' knowledge is a dangerous thing!

flakester.

Steamthrower
10-25-2007, 02:54 PM
Um, Bog, did someone really say that to you?

Bog
10-25-2007, 02:57 PM
It's all true, I'm afraid. Hence why I'd repressed the memory.

No sleep for me, tonight....

Exception
10-25-2007, 03:03 PM
client: "Can't you remove that tree from the photograph?"

me: "Well, it's right in front of the house... it would take hours of photoshopping.."

client: "Don't you have a tree filter or something?"

another one:

Reflections on a nice gloomy evening visualisation of a rowhouse:

"The bricks on the side of the building don't look the same color as the ones on the front. In fact someone here at the office printed out your visualisation and cut out parts of the front and side facade and held them next to a brick in our office, and the color of both is off."

What do you say at a time like this? I just hung up the phone.

Steamthrower
10-25-2007, 03:17 PM
I would have muttered something about imbeciles and shadows. And and and laughed gently.

Bog
10-25-2007, 03:18 PM
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop it being a bloody idiot.

Nangleator
10-25-2007, 03:21 PM
Another client problem: The client has a cool new device for a standard medical procedure. The product's benefits are very clear in an image. Great! He's showing it at a tradeshow, in a video loop. Great! He's sending me his own script for the animation. Great!

So he has 9 steps of a procedure, which any of his customer doctors know inside and out. Only the last of the 9 steps has his actual product in it. So I say, I can save you lots and lots of money on this project. You don't need to show all this other stuff. Doctors know it already. They'll be bored in a tradeshow setting. They'll walk away before they even see your product.

Client says, send me the revised script and your quote. I send the revised script and drastically reduced quote. Then, as the project proceeds, he gradually adds in all the other steps one by one, as "edits."

Then, I run into trouble trying to bill for more money.

Exception
10-25-2007, 03:21 PM
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop it being a bloody idiot.

LOL.

Steamthrower
10-25-2007, 03:47 PM
I was once animating a process in which nanospheres clump together and pulse electricity through them to create some thingamajig or the other that does doohickies. I built the particles, fairly hi-rez (about 500 polies each) and since there were to be relatively few particles in the simulation (~60) I decided it would be quicker and easier for them to all be heros.

Great decision. The client wanted more nanoparticles ...and more...and more...over 200...and it was too late to restructure the deal using dynamics. So I ended up hero-animating about 120k polies worth of hero nanospheres.

I wasn't burned on that project, however, since I was billing hourly. Next time, when I was animating nuclear waste going through molten aluminum, I remembered to bill hourly as well...

Nangleator
10-25-2007, 04:10 PM
A corporate job I had (my boss acted like a client, so this belongs here!) involved a deadly, new variation on the deadline.

I would be given a project, and told I should have something in two days. I would knock out a first draft. Then, I'd be told to have the final in 3 days. I'd scramble. When I presented the "final" I'd be told to start from scratch and come up with a new concept. And the new deadline was 2 days away.

This would proceed for many, many iterations. (The first time I ran into this new type of deadline, the project went through 17 iterations. 17 "final" files, made just in time for the deadline.)

When I got wise and tried to find out what the real deadline really was, so I could work at a proper speed and not a rush, they blocked me from finding out the actual deadline.

At some point, my boss would run out of time, (rather than be happy with the result of all these changes,) and I'd have to make changes for a "drop dead" deadline.

3 weeks later, after I thought the thing was dead and gone, my boss would come back to me and say, "You know, I never liked your concept. Let's restart this thing from the beginning and do it right this time."

These "deadlines" had all the bad aspects of a deadline -- stress, fear, forcing lots of compromises in quality -- and not the one good thing about a deadline -- that the project is over when the deadline passes.

THREEL
10-25-2007, 04:13 PM
The check's in the mail...

Wait a minute... That's not silly! :bangwall: :eek: :cry:

Bog
10-26-2007, 03:35 AM
No, that's what we call "lying". Whilst technically silly, in the "You'll never get good work from us again" sense, it's a different league to just being idiotic.

GATOR
10-26-2007, 09:43 AM
Client asked once...

"Can you send us the 3D model files so our artist can play with them in Photoshop?"

Bog
10-26-2007, 10:40 AM
It'd probably be less hassle to stick with "No, sorry, it's not my policy to release source material" than to explain why he's being... well.... a bit clienty.

Steamthrower
10-26-2007, 11:02 AM
I'm waiting for someone to ask me to print out an animation for them.

It's not too far out to expect judging from some of these stories.

Lightwolf
10-26-2007, 11:02 AM
Client asked once...

"Can you send us the 3D model files so our artist can play with them in Photoshop?"
Make him pay for the privilege first... than give him the files lwo/lws for PS :D

Cheers,
Mike

GATOR
10-26-2007, 01:15 PM
I do have a solid policy of not releasing data. If I remember correctly (this was about 10 years ago) I knew they'd have no clue what to do with it. It was a government agency, and I know whatever I give them eventually becomes public domain (and they do pay for that as well) so instead of telling them "no", I output a low-poly DXF file with no textures and sent it to them. They had no idea what to do with it and life went on (and I still do the occasional project for them).

My favorite re-occurring request is when a new client sends me some source material for a piece and it's something I did.

Yeah...I think I can do that.

Sarford
10-26-2007, 01:29 PM
for even more 'client fun'

Be sure to add your own stories as well. :)

http://www.clientcopia.com/

Cougar12dk
10-26-2007, 01:55 PM
There are some examples of real ignoramus' on that site. Why can't people come in and just ask for a design (without acting like they know everything (or make up words for things they THINK exist (and act like: of course that's a real word/term))) and let the ARTIST work out the details of the design?

I apolgise for the many parenthesi (?) in parenthesis 8~

Steamthrower
10-26-2007, 03:47 PM
I think that parentheses, in the plural sense, is the same as pegasus in the plural sense. Pegasi.

Cougar12dk
10-26-2007, 03:49 PM
Well, shoot :) There ya go. Thanks :)

evolross
10-26-2007, 04:13 PM
I had one guy that thought that everything had "metadata" and that simply editing it is the solution to any difficulty...

"Can't you just edit the metadata in the model?"
"Just tweak the metadata on the renderfarm."
"Have you thought about the metadata in the reflections?"

The same guy has also said the following...

Client: "Can't you just turn a couple of knobs or something to make the smoke look right?"

Me: "No, it's not quite that simple."

And my personal favorite...

Client: "Can't you just hook a USB cable up to an XBox and use some of the people models from that?"

Me: "No. You can't do that actually."

The sad thing is that this guy was the senior technology advisor of the graphics group of a company I was contracted to work for. He literally, was a total idiot. But meant well. 8~

Bog
10-26-2007, 04:43 PM
Sounds like he never metadata he didn't like.

That said (to a chorus of groans); Road. Hell. Good intentions.

Steamthrower
10-26-2007, 05:38 PM
Well, I think it's an established fact that people rise high into corporate tech positions not because they're especially technically gifted but because they have the right personality/business mindset.

That's why people ask for "final-quality" concepts. :hey:

Andy Webb
10-26-2007, 06:03 PM
I sympathise with everything said here, and I'm pleased to see I'm not the only one who suffers.

starbase1
10-27-2007, 01:54 AM
Well, I think it's an established fact that people rise high into corporate tech positions not because they're especially technically gifted but because they have the right personality/business mindset.

That's why people ask for "final-quality" concepts. :hey:

There was a spectacularly apposite Dilbert on this subject yesterday:
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20071026.html

Still at least you graphics don't have to cope with the personification of evil that is an auditor with zero grasp of technology... They all seem to assume that the computers are all desktops, complete with floppy drives, and that there is no good reason why we can't give them a floppy disk or CD with several terabytes of raw performance data so they can look at it (and understand) with Excel... The worst ones assume that every attempt to help them by offering something they actually could understand and check is an attempt to hide some act of fraud from them...

archijam
10-27-2007, 09:34 AM
Yesterday, 16:47. Client referring to work that was done photoshopping a building into a building site (massive trees, roadworks, lighting issues).

"I have a new photo, from a different angle. Can you just... you know... put the building in without too much trouble?*" (* too much trouble = unpaid)

He sent me the photograph .. it was a warzone. I have not replied.

j.

kopperdrake
10-27-2007, 06:50 PM
Project: shot from 500 meters in the air looking down on a typical building development site for an A3 print spread.

"We've decided we'd like to change the little earth digger in the image to another style - can you do this?"

"Sure, but we only have a day to do this and as it's only going to be really small (5mm) when printed is it worth the time and money?"

"Well, we had a photo of the digger, can't you just use that?"

"Unless you took the photograph from 500m high it's going to look a bit odd."

"Oh - I thought you could just kind of scan it in and rotate it around or something?"

<hits head on wall repeatedly>

And more recently, after a meeting called by a client at 5.30pm Friday for a2 days worth of project..."Oh, we need it for a meeting on Monday afternoon"...

Exception
10-28-2007, 11:50 AM
And more recently, after a meeting called by a client at 5.30pm Friday for a2 days worth of project..."Oh, we need it for a meeting on Monday afternoon"...

Oh man, I get that all the time.
It's like artists don't do weekends. We're like ambulance personell or something.

That just really gets me.... soo.. let me get this straight.. because you didn't plan your project properly, I am going to have to work over the weekend to save... your project, correct? Ok, I will do this, but you will pay five times more than during the week.
Unfair?
Think about that once more when you're frolicking in a forest and I'm working on your dumb badly planned project, and swearing at you repeatedly, loud, and in a variety of ways that would shock not just your children but generations to come.

kopperdrake
10-28-2007, 12:46 PM
So right Exception - the real reason for the Monday meeting? I found out the end client was going on paternity leave for 3 months and wanted to 'see something before he went'. The project was several months old already but as usual had sat on a desk somewhere until crunch time loomed. I guess I can always say no but when it's a good client (in terms of name) then it's hard to turn down...plus there was no haggling on pay, which eased the pain of Sunday working :/

Bog
10-28-2007, 01:09 PM
All together now:

"Why are you charging this much? It's the computer that does all the work!"

...and take a drink.

kopperdrake
10-28-2007, 02:33 PM
<grin>

That's better :thumbsup:

Steamthrower
10-28-2007, 02:47 PM
Can the font get bigger? Or is it limited to "7"?

starbase1
10-28-2007, 03:05 PM
And more recently, after a meeting called by a client at 5.30pm Friday for a2 days worth of project..."Oh, we need it for a meeting on Monday afternoon"...

Come on guys, they never think they will do this kind of thing, so stick yourselves an overtime rate for weekend work in the contract...

starbase1
10-28-2007, 03:15 PM
All together now:

"Why are you charging this much? It's the computer that does all the work!"

...and take a drink.

Well, I'm not a graphics pro, (I'm a fault tolerant capacity planner), the variation I'm used to is:

"Haven't you got a spreadsheet to work that out?"

In one particular prize winning case they wanted me to have a spreadsheet that would tell them how how many customers would use their system...

Boss morons are the same in any industry.

Very often in my work the outcome is a number - you need a "computer this big". They often find it bad value to get one sentence at the end of the work, and after one run in with a particular pointy haired idiot, for the second piece of work I did for him I included the source code for the programs he wanted to run on the new box as an appendix...

Bog
10-28-2007, 06:46 PM
Let's play the CG Industry Drinking Game!

Every time you hear something horrifyingly familiar, take a drink!

1) Your Estimate Didn't Have That In It! (After they've added four singlespaced pages to the specification)

*sip*

2) You'll love working here! There's a shower and a place to sleep!

*shudder, sip, sip*

3) Why should we budget for your rendering time?

*siiip*

4) We need it soon. No, we don't have a set date - just soon.

*swig, guzzle*

5) I can't be bothered to re-shoot. Fix it in post.

*drains can, flattens can against head, opens another can*

6) You've got a plugin to do that, I've looked at these Computer Generations sites.

*empties fresh can*

7) The accounts department doesn't work that way. You have to wait six weeks for a BACS payment.

*eats whole, unopened can, cries self to sleep spitting out bits of ring-pull*

Bog
10-28-2007, 06:56 PM
Oh dear me. And have you ever had illiterate clients? I saw a huge smegging great A1 poster in a major "high end" store this weekend: "Get your gift's here".

ARRRRGH!!! It's a physical pain, I tell you! That superfluous apostrophe is like a thumb right in my eye! When I get copy, I suddenly turn into Conan the Grammarian, wielding my delete key like a two-handed longsword, and eventually end up having conversations with so-called "copywriters" (I think they spell it "kopyriterz" which leave nitrogen rimed on the telephone like morning dew.

What is the best thing in the world?

To be pedantic to your clients, to see their thoughts written before you, and to hear the lamentations of their English teachers.

CROM!

THREEL
10-28-2007, 10:17 PM
Oh man, I get that all the time.
It's like artists don't do weekends. We're like ambulance personell or something.

That just really gets me.... soo.. let me get this straight.. because you didn't plan your project properly, I am going to have to work over the weekend to save... your project, correct? Ok, I will do this, but you will pay five times more than during the week.
Unfair?
Think about that once more when you're frolicking in a forest and I'm working on your dumb badly planned project, and swearing at you repeatedly, loud, and in a variety of ways that would shock not just your children but generations to come.

Is this new terminology for, "I am going to have to work over the weekend to save... your a**, correct?" 8/

kopperdrake
10-29-2007, 05:26 PM
Oh dear me. And have you ever had illiterate clients? I saw a huge smegging great A1 poster in a major "high end" store this weekend: "Get your gift's here".

Please don't get me started on apostrophes! I used to pass a couple of shops opposite each other every day - one had a sign outside which read "Keys Cut and Remote's for Rovers and Fords' - the other had the signage "Johns Frames". How I wanted to peel the apostrophe off one sign and superglue it to the other! Is it just me or are there some high-end adverts that are just dropping the possesive apostrophe completely, as if some graphic designer has deemed it an ugly little thing that is unnecessary?

Bah humbug...beware grammarian luddites

Bog
10-29-2007, 06:59 PM
http://www.angryflower.com/bobsqu.gif

Steamthrower
10-29-2007, 08:30 PM
I am daily seeing this sign, in not one but two locations in town:

"Northpoint Nissan Dealership: Comming Soon"

I scream and pull my eyeballs out, leaving them dangling from the ocular cords, each time.

inquisitive
10-30-2007, 12:59 AM
I'm waiting for someone to ask me to print out an animation for them.

It's not too far out to expect judging from some of these stories.

lol like the request I got to put the Internet in a floppy :D

starbase1
10-30-2007, 01:37 AM
I saw a sign which was trying to indicate you should not drive down an alley: "No Right Away"

Nangleator
10-30-2007, 07:35 AM
How about the ever-popular "I don't know what I want, but I'll know it when I see it." In other words, make an infinite number of designs and I'll pick out the one I like best.

Here's a mistake I got caught up in on my last job. It was a long animation in several segments. I was subcontracting through a graphic designer, so the extra layer of "communication" probably didn't help. He said, send me the first drafts on these segments as you finish them, so we can make sure we're going in the right direction.

The time was tight, of course. (I guess that's a totally redundant statement in this line of business.)

Unfortunately, as I sent each segment, I'd get a call to hold everything and make changes on that segment until it was better. Pretty soon, I was sending segments 1 through 4, working on 5, then stopping work to correct 1-4. By the time I was done with that, I'd send 1-5, start working on 6, then get interrupted...

When time finally ran out, the earliest, least important steps were in draft 10 or so, and the latest, most important segments were first drafts.

No more will I do that. No more progress reports to those people. They'll see the whole thing at once, and not my progress.

Over four freakin' minutes of animation and I had to render most of it many, many times.

v1u1ant
10-30-2007, 09:06 AM
When i was in Crete years ago i always rather liked the sign i passed each morning on the way to the beach that was selling 'Slash Puppies'.

but yea people who know nothing about 3D/motion graphics/CGI, yet they think they are above creatives, and believe they qualify to direct/produce you just because they manage 20 people (badly most of the time), can suck my nads.

meathead
10-30-2007, 11:43 AM
Salesman says:

"Can't you press the morph button for that? Should take a second."

I reply:

"Yes, its right next to the backspace button. I must have forgot."


Honestly, I do my best work on every project because I have to. I wish I was faster, and some days I should be, but more often than not, I go way overboard on the details. Its the only way I know.

But not one of my clients, or any of my past art directors can tell at all. They just want the project done. It's like they don't even see it when they look at it. They brag about things like... how good they keep a time sheet, or how to "animate" in PowerPoint?!?!? Wow, you've mastered Powerpoint, must have taken you 20 minutes!

If you are not an artist, it's like you are missing that part of your brain that helps you appreciate artistry. Everything in these peoples life must blow. They must drive horribley ugly cars, dress with clothes from Walmart, and cover their walls with T. Kincade paintings.

Steamthrower
10-30-2007, 02:15 PM
Everything in these peoples life must blow. They must drive horribley ugly cars, dress with clothes from Walmart, and cover their walls with T. Kincade paintings.

Man. You said something truer than most other things that've come my way today. Plus they live in literal anthills, exactly like every other single person...influenced by others because they have no influence of their own...

That's why I like my old Mercedes diesel, and my clothes as nice as I can afford, and Rembrandt over Kinkade. It doesn't even matter if you can't afford really expensive stuff, there's a tastefulness suitable for any budget. You can still live like you respect yourself.

And listen to Switchfoot. That's really important.

Bog
10-30-2007, 03:01 PM
I feel bad for anyone who has to use Powerpoint.

I mean that.

Lightwolf
10-30-2007, 03:09 PM
I feel bad for anyone who has to use Powerpoint.

Thanks... there were time when people were more willing to shell out my rates for Powerpoint than for CG or comp work.
And that was last year. Admitted, I was surprised of how little people know about their tools - they thought me a PP wiz (I use it maybe once every 2 years).

Cheers,
Mike

Bog
10-30-2007, 03:44 PM
Oh I don't mean it personally, Mike - I mean people who have to use it because they couldn't - if the mood took them - come up with something more in in a video package.

I'm not a complete bastard, just a partial one ;)

starbase1
10-30-2007, 04:11 PM
I feel bad for anyone who has to use Powerpoint.

I mean that.

I must admit, the first time I heard the expression "Death by powerpoint" I considered it one of the most pungently appropriate phrases I had ever heard.

I have the nagging feeling that somewhere in the process of creating that program were the people who came up with the helpful dancing paperclip...

But perhaps you should save your sympathy for those who have to listen to have to listen t a powerpoint presentation?

SBowie
10-30-2007, 04:21 PM
'Alas, poor Scala, I knew it well ...'

inquisitive
10-30-2007, 04:43 PM
How about the ever-popular "I don't know what I want, but I'll know it when I see it." In other words, make an infinite number of designs and I'll pick out the one I like best.

lol, yeah someone I know said that to me, he wanted me to spend my time figuring out what would be the best design, and make changes etc, for free with no direction whatsover, the minute I said ok it will be X dollars to start and from there we go hourly that stopped it (funny thing is this individual also creates things and he must have specs in front of him in order to begin).

Lightwolf
10-30-2007, 05:07 PM
Oh I don't mean it personally, Mike - I mean people who have to use it because they couldn't - if the mood took them - come up with something more in in a video package.

Lol... I mainly know the sort that can't even come up with something in PowerPoint ;)
To be honest though... the only thing worse than managers using Powerpoint are designers using it (mainly because they ***** more, end up doing their stuff in Quark and then wonder why it bloats PP *sigh*).

Cheers,
Mike

Andyjaggy
10-30-2007, 06:11 PM
Quark is still around? Don't hear much about it these days.

flakester
10-30-2007, 06:57 PM
I must admit, the first time I heard the expression "Death by powerpoint" I considered it one of the most pungently appropriate phrases I had ever heard.

I have the nagging feeling that somewhere in the process of creating that program were the people who came up with the helpful dancing paperclip...

But perhaps you should save your sympathy for those who have to listen to have to listen t a powerpoint presentation?

:agree:

We have tried in vain (until a small breakthrough recently), to steer clients away from that evil, evil program - telling them that a DVD full of spangly motion graphics will look ..... just a touch better.

You would be surprised at the amount of folk who say 'no' on the basis that they don't know how to use a DVD player, or the DVD playback software on their laptops. You know; such as pointing a remote or clickng a mouse button in the same fashion they do in everyday activities or for the Saturday night movie indoors!

These are the breed that can normally be found bragging about the latest bit of shiny silver kit that they bought just so they can remain in the running for 'who has the latest bit of really expensive shiny silver kit' competition - with absolutely no knowledge of how to use the dang stuff.

On a client asking for silly things note: A recent one for us was a person asking how much it would be to remove a fag-butt from a twelve second (moving camera) live action clip. I told him how long and how much.

Classic answer: "What just to simply 'airbrush' it out?"

I quickly and politely went through the maths with him..... 12 X 25.... blah.
He went red - he'd somehow just not figured it out before that conversation. Bless!! Clients, gotta love em.

flakester.

SBowie
10-30-2007, 07:17 PM
I quickly and politely went through the maths with him..... 12 X 25.... blah.Well, you had options - for example, you might have airbrushed one frame, then held that for 12 seconds. :p

Lightwolf
10-30-2007, 07:20 PM
We have tried in vain (until a small breakthrough recently), to steer clients away from that evil, evil program - telling them that a DVD full of spangly motion graphics will look ..... just a touch better.
That depends a lot on the project. Motion graphics tend not to be an option when you're working on a presentation that will be shown high up in the corporate ladder. The higher up, the more late changes. And, believe me, you don't want to render out changes and master a DVD 30 minutes before the presentation ;)

Cheers,
Mike

Lightwolf
10-30-2007, 07:21 PM
Quark is still around? Don't hear much about it these days.
Oh yeah... agencies *sigh*.
Customers are bad enough, but if the customer is an agency... *ouch*.

Cheers,
Mike

flakester
10-30-2007, 07:35 PM
That depends a lot on the project. Motion graphics tend not to be an option when you're working on a presentation that will be shown high up in the corporate ladder. The higher up, the more late changes. And, believe me, you don't want to render out changes and master a DVD 30 minutes before the presentation ;)

Cheers,
Mike

Amen to that one! I'd agree on both points from my experience - it depends on the project; it's difficult to make facts and figures about water use and loss look interesting (The old adage; you can't polish a turd!!) and the higher up the chain you go - the more people tend to be stuck in their 'beige alert' modes and not be willing to entertain new ways doing stuff, let alone even try to understand those ways.

We have also been in that place of having to master [read: re-remaster the remastered master :bangwall: ] a DVD moments before it was needed....... I enjoy a good fear sweat every once in a while, but that was somewhere I'd not choose to go again.

flakester.

Bog
10-30-2007, 07:37 PM
I hate to quote myself, but it seems indicated.

Me: "This is very simple. I'm here because I know how to do this, and you do not. If you did know how to do it, you would do it instead of giving me money. As you are giving me money, I will not only do my ineffable best at this job, but also give unto you the advice of ages. As only one of us in this room knows how to get this done right, the other person has a sterling chance to nip over the road and enjoy a frosty gin and tonic, free of the burdens of knowledge. That person needs to begin enjoying that chance, as this life only comes around the once."

flakester
10-30-2007, 07:42 PM
Bog, I need closure.

Did that person act upon the gifted, sterling chance of a frosty G&T?

Bog
10-30-2007, 08:18 PM
I can be very persuasive when I want to be, Flakester. They even brought me one back from the pub afterwards. It was then I realised that Client Education was my true calling.

Steamthrower
10-30-2007, 08:43 PM
Bog, by my intensive calculations, it is between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning across the pond in the Great Isle. The fact that you have THAT MUCH of an Animator's Block...is scary...

Captain Obvious
10-30-2007, 10:57 PM
Just going on 5:00 now, actually.

Bog
10-31-2007, 04:39 AM
Bog, by my intensive calculations, it is between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning across the pond in the Great Isle. The fact that you have THAT MUCH of an Animator's Block...is scary...

I was in bed by 0245, I must've left myself logged on.

Nangleator
10-31-2007, 05:21 AM
That depends a lot on the project. Motion graphics tend not to be an option when you're working on a presentation that will be shown high up in the corporate ladder. The higher up, the more late changes...
Spent a LOT of time doing this sort of thing, and it gave me an opportunity to punish the last-minute changers.

I'd create stunning graphs and charts in LW, sprinkle them throughout the presentation. Then backstage at the show (I worked the computers backstage for audiences up to 200 people,) when they said, change this and change that, I'd explain that sadly, the chart couldn't be edited. So I'd recreate a butt-ugly PPT chart that completely didn't fit with the rest of the presentation.

Aaaah. Satisfying! What a strange way to take pleasure in my work!

Bog
10-31-2007, 07:21 AM
That's that shadenfreude thing again ;)

Sandgunner
10-31-2007, 11:06 AM
:agree:
...On a client asking for silly things note: A recent one for us was a person asking how much it would be to remove a fag-butt from a twelve second (moving camera) live action clip. I told him how long and how much.

Classic answer: "What just to simply 'airbrush' it out?"

I quickly and politely went through the maths with him..... 12 X 25.... blah.
He went red - he'd somehow just not figured it out before that conversation. Bless!! Clients, gotta love em.

flakester.


Ahh, this is why I created a timeline poster containing various job examples and the conversions. The client either gets the impression of actual work time involved or they oogle over the pretty timeline and accept my schedule.

Has worked everytime.

Hint: Make your work example timeline look official in client speak. Add some cryptic form numbers to the bottom left corner. :twak:

BeeVee
11-22-2007, 03:30 AM
Just been sent this link. Very old, practically antique since it's from the 20th Century, but a good read... http://www.mediaspin.com/vomit.html

B

Iain
11-22-2007, 03:47 AM
Just been sent this link. Very old, practically antique since it's from the 20th Century, but a good read... http://www.mediaspin.com/vomit.html

B

That's brilliant. I didn't think I'd read it all but after the first paragraph, I had to.

BeeVee
11-22-2007, 04:35 AM
I was exactly the same, it's why I had to find this thread... :D

B

Bog
11-22-2007, 04:35 AM
Oh, man that story takes me back. These days, with 12Ghz workstations and $200 a day render-farms, people don't even know they're born. Damn.

You know, I don't think I've pulled an all-nighter this year, chasing a deadline down. The main grief of Time and Rendering Power (TARP, in my own little internal lexicon of horrors) seems to have receded a fair bit. No, wait, just remembered hiring a farm for the Harrington gig, and getting about 1/20th of it on timeshare, and I'd left "Render Lines" switched on because I didn't know about it.

Nope. Still Brutal... ;)

Bog
11-22-2007, 04:46 AM
There is actually something really silly that clients say, that I'm surprised we've not heard more about on this thread. Especially in this day and age of high-bandwidth connectivity and remote working.

One of the silliest things clients say is nothing. You've got a job booked, you've got a start-date set, you've got assets sent to you - the whole tamale. You get up at the crack o'dawn on Day 1 in your calendar, do a bunch of stuff, FTP it up to your ever-lovin' webserver having seared an oval of desk to charcoal from mouse-friction. You send 'em URLs over email.

And sit there, clicking "Get Mail" for half an hour. So you dig out the client's phone number (doubtless scrawled on the back of a fag packet (I should have a box on my desk for phone-numbered empty Marlboro boxes) during a pub-meeting somewhere in Smithfields) and call 'em.

*ring ring*
*ring ring*
*ring ring*

"Hello, Bodget Kludgett and Chargitt Media".

"Hi, can I speak to $PROJECT_MANAGER please?"

"Oh, sorry, he's:

1) Not in yet
2) On holiday
3) Just popped out, he'll be back in [$LIE]
4) At lunch
5) In a meeting

and my personal favourite, which I swear t'gh0d happenned to me after I'd pulled 48 straight at the desk:

6) In the pub watching the World Cup."

And you sit there, eyes going glassy. You need feedback to really move the job ahead, because Client Telepathy's hard in the first place. Remote Client Telepathy is a refined skill, one not to be risked by the timid. And you think "Well, I've got eyes, I know how to make this good..." and your professionalism solemnly intones that you know a dozen things to be trying out.

But the sheer, reeking aura of "I don't give a crap" coming off your client, who's salaried and getting paid regardless, wafts out of the phone and starts to foul the air of your studio.

And you wait.
And you wait.
And you wait.

And they say nothing.

You email them again, with some tweaks. You ring back to see if they're in. You leave voicemails on their mobile numbers, which go straight to voicemail because people hate it when their mobile phones ring in the pub.

And they say nothing.

Finally, three days of melting the phone, and filling their email boxes later, they come out with either one of the bits of crap that have happenned elsewhere in this thread, or my personal favourite, the one line email that says:

"it's not really what we were thinking of. can you do it different?"

Hnnng.

Steamthrower
11-22-2007, 06:07 AM
This summer I was working overtime on a project. Needless to say it was a gigantic project, but of all the people in the office I was really the only one with the time to work on it. I spent nine to ten hour days clicking away in oblivion. To give a sense of the scale of this thing, it was a 12-story skyscraper. Inside, it's got 3 atriums, an elevator bank, stairs, multiple lobbies, and a complete floorplan on each of those 12 levels to be modeled. Outside, it's set among three or four other skyscrapers and a parking deck and has the most convoluted scenery imaginable. I had to do two seperate models of the thing, one interior and one exterior. If I was in the habit of swearing, I'd say it was hell, and caused me late nights, but I won't since I don't usually swear.

I worked for weeks.

It was coming together. I was using a new software that was much easier to work with than our previous visualisation program.

The date on which we were going to present it to the architect drew very close - we continued work. Finally the day before, I called it fine. And I stayed late that night setting up the renders on both my workstation and the render farm. I pressed render.

In the morning I was pleased to see that I could now walk through the entire scene with very nice shading and colors. I pulled off a few still renders and worked on Photoshopping them.

An hour before the architects were planned to be there, it was finished. I literally turned my mind off for a bit.

And we presented it to them. Walked them through, suggested fixture concepts, etc. etc.

Architect 1: "The stair rails are actually supposed to be round."
Architect 2: "Yeah, we've been working with some really photorealistic renderings lately."
Me: :foreheads

Nangleator
11-22-2007, 09:35 AM
...nothing.... You send 'em URLs over email.

And sit there, clicking "Get Mail" for half an hour...
Amen, brother.

I think I've detected a strategy with some of my clients. "Oh," they say to themselves. "Computer graphics are really expensive. We'll save tons of money by not giving them so many hours of work. We can drop the job on them at the last minute."

So, in early August I hear Very Important Animation Project coming up. It's due in early October. Is there enough time?

I smile and say, "Sure! Let me get the details, I'll write out a script, you can approve it, then I'll send a quote."

I get about 90% of the info I need, I send a script, get approval, send a quote, get approval on the quote, and then I'm told to hold on the project for some final decisions.

The decisions come in late September, of course. And when I cry "Not enough time!" I hear "But you said you could do it!"

starbase1
11-23-2007, 06:57 AM
6) In the pub watching the World Cup."



If you are told that, the major conclusion to draw is that you are speaking to a secretary who hates her boss.

Be VERY nice to her, it won't take much, just a bit of sympathy that she has been left to cope while the bosss is out having fun. She will then make sure you are ALWAYS at the top of his schedule.

mrpapabeis
11-24-2007, 10:28 AM
Ah yes,

the passive agressive client. The one who resents being "pressured" by previs. "How dare you make demands of me?" ... by asking them to look at thier project and make a descision.

Yep have had those too...

GP

Andyjaggy
11-24-2007, 05:57 PM
I feel your pain Bog. I do.

ted
11-24-2007, 06:26 PM
True story.
We get a project with a hard date of delivery.
You schedule shoot and edit dates. The client cancels the first shoot the day before. The client cancels the re-shoot the morning of as we are packed and departing for the 60 mile trip.
3 days of shooting now gets crammed into onelong day, much later then the last date scheduled.

A 3 day edit is scheduled.
Every day for 23 days the client promises to deliver additional footage and stills the next morning. Each morning it will be just after lunch.
About 1-2 pieces get delivered every day.

Client finally delivers the final elements at noon and demands the finished 5 videos, converted to web format and delivered no later then 4pm. "We gotta have it"!

On top of that, the client balked at the charges. Only the hours worked were billed for. None of the cancelled or waiting hours were billed for.
Not a bit of understanding how easy I was on them even after a 6 day project took 26 days of our studio time.
ARRRRGGGGGG!!! :cursin:

ericsmith
11-24-2007, 07:10 PM
It seems to be a universal truth that the more abusive of your good graces a client is, the less money they think your time is worth.

Eric

Steamthrower
11-25-2007, 06:53 AM
And, therefore, following that ratio, the more abusive of your time and money that a client is, you must increase your wariness exponentially of anytime they walk towards you.

meathead
11-26-2007, 12:09 PM
Just been sent this link. Very old, practically antique since it's from the 20th Century, but a good read... http://www.mediaspin.com/vomit.htmlB

That was excellent. So true, just about every company I have worked for is run by ignorant people like that. How do these people get into this business? Production people know the business, but rarely are compensated for it. It's always the easily replaceable sales-idiot who is highest paid?!?!?


....On top of that, the client balked at the charges. Only the hours worked were billed for. None of the cancelled or waiting hours were billed for.
Not a bit of understanding how easy I was on them even after a 6 day project took 26 days of our studio time.
ARRRRGGGGGG!!! :cursin:


That's horrible. You HAVE TO hammer them when they act like this. They will eventually pay, maybe never use you again, but oh well, these are not the clients you want.

Just this morning I had a M.D. come into my office and ask "Hey, you are good with PowerPoint right?" I almost stood up and punched him. I showed him the PP "animation" possiblities, as the other MD showeed him all the amazing "animations" he has done in PP. He was bragging about his PP slides?!?! I almost punched them both out.

Andyjaggy
11-26-2007, 02:32 PM
I've read that before. Classic.

Production is brutal.

Steamthrower
11-26-2007, 02:56 PM
You know, we all gripe about the so-called Lightwave "competitors" like Maya, Max, XSI, C4D, and Modo - but the real deal we need to be worrying about is Powerpoint. The features in that thing are scary, dude, what with advanced text scaling and spellchecking...it's speedily creeping up into the pipeline of feature film effects studios everywhere...especially after they used it in Transformers and Beowulf...

Martin Adams
11-26-2007, 03:22 PM
Don't forget, PowerPoint has full-screen real-time rendering!

Nangleator
11-26-2007, 03:39 PM
Dude, don't forget the paperclip guy! That's like freakin' science fiction! How come he's so helpful?

Too bad LightWave doesn't have a paperclip guy to tell us how to hit the "T" key to move stuff every time we select an object, poly, edge or point.

ted
11-26-2007, 03:44 PM
They will eventually pay, maybe never use you again, but oh well, these are not the clients you want.

I've learned over the years that demanding payment for time worked is the best option.
For the most part, those that are whining about the bill will find someone cheaper next time anyway. So why give them a couple thousand discount out of your pocket when you'll probably never see them again.

The one's that do come back will either be more prepared, (rarely), or they'll pay for your time. Those are the clients I want anyway, not the whiners that insult you all the way through the process trying to save a buck.

Steamthrower
11-26-2007, 03:45 PM
Dude, don't forget the paperclip guy! That's like freakin' science fiction! How come he's so helpful?

Too bad LightWave doesn't have a paperclip guy to tell us how to hit the "T" key to move stuff every time we select an object, poly, edge or point.[/quote]

Or the little pudgy Einstein guy who spins around and produces cups of coffee magically out of thin air. I mean, what are the freakin' dudes at Newtek thinking about? Where are our little 2d screen mentors? That's why Powerpoint is gaining ground so much.

meathead
11-26-2007, 09:06 PM
Dude, don't forget the paperclip guy! That's like freakin' science fiction! How come he's so helpful?

Too bad LightWave doesn't have a paperclip guy to tell us how to hit the "T" key to move stuff every time we select an object, poly, edge or point.

LOL, Hehehehehehe. The first thing you shut off when you install M$ Office.

Thank you Open Office for offering an alternative.

Steamthrower
11-26-2007, 09:31 PM
I have successfully convinced one coworker to add Open Office to his workflow (it can create PDFs!) I'm a big fan of it - lightweight, more features than MS Office, totally compatible, open-source...and of course you gotta use Thunderbird instead of Outlook.

sean hargreaves
11-27-2007, 05:50 PM
I did a sphere once and the client said "Can you make it rounder?"

One word > Kill!

Andyjaggy
12-01-2007, 06:45 PM
Been working on the logo from hell here for the past few days. This logo has about 20 pieces to it. It's a very complex logo. I did a cool animation with the little pieces flying around, has all this great looking MB etc..... Was quick, looked cool, and was too the point. Sent it to the client. Got approval. Rendered it. Finished.

Not.

Got a call two days later. "We want more stuff in the animation" "More flashy, with more cool lighting effects." "We don't really know exactly what we want but we will know when we see it"

The logo now has about 80 pieces to it flying around. Granted it does look pretty cool, but.... when you are done with a project you want it to be done. Ya know. However I shouldn't complain I am getting paid for the extra changes, and work is a little scarce right now so it's all good.

Nangleator
12-01-2007, 06:54 PM
"We don't really know exactly what we want but we will know when we see it"
Aargh!

Maybe we should say: "I don't know how much I'll charge for that, but just keep giving me money until I like how much I have."

Mr Rid
12-01-2007, 08:55 PM
"Can you make it darker but lighten it a bit?"

"We would like to see a version that is 50% slower, another version that is 75% slower and third version that is 100% slower."

"Mmm, needs to be 20% better."

Bog
12-02-2007, 04:27 AM
And from the "Level of Danger Inversely Proportional to Level of Knowledge" department, we've got the howlers clients come out with when they think they know the words.

"Can you raise the spectacularity about 30%?"

"I want to see more voltimetric lightning" (That one got landed on some chums of mine, still makes the winter evenings fly past)

Client: "I want you to make it opaque"
Moi: "Righto." and I set the transparency to 0%
Client: "No, opaque like glass! Tsk."

"And I want you to model it in beezer splines, those polygon things look terrible"

JBT27
12-02-2007, 11:20 AM
Quote to me and my business partner from a very major publisher who shall remain nameless.....

"We'll know what we want when you show us what we don't want!"

Quote from a much lesser publisher who shall also remain nameless.

"Wow, those coastal cliffs are great, and those boulders are fab.....but can he do rocks on Mars?"

:)

Julian.

gatz
12-02-2007, 02:43 PM
"Wow, those coastal cliffs are great, and those boulders are fab.....but can he do rocks on Mars?"

Yep. Who says visualizing isn't a skill? Some of my clients actually, or rather they sometimes behave that way. Submit illos of zebras. They can't make the stretch to horses. This is why we need MANDATORY art in the public schools. The managers of the future need to learn that good design doesn't just happen.

rg

Andyjaggy
12-02-2007, 05:13 PM
"And I want you to model it in beezer splines, those polygon things look terrible"

Oh that's classic :) I want a client to say something like that too me.

Bog
12-03-2007, 01:32 PM
Oh that's classic :) I want a client to say something like that too me.

You don't. You really don't. *sighs*

I think, just maybe, 12 years of subjecting myself to clients and their ways might be getting to me. Nah, it's normal to carry a Number Four gutting-hook to meetings, 'course it is...

Cougar12dk
12-03-2007, 01:33 PM
Lol :D

Nangleator
12-13-2007, 08:38 PM
I got a new one.

I recently completed an animation for a medical device company. The Poser body was good enough up until the last minute, when they wanted "super accurate" anatomy, along with ALL the blood vessels visible through the skin.

So we bought $4,700 worth of mesh. Very accurate. Scanned from an actual person, and so on. They loved it, and now they want screen grabs at print resolution of a few different frames.

Sounds simple, right?

Here's the edit I got: Can you move the nipples in closer to the center of the chest?

Nipples. They've got their device, an accurate body model, miles of blood vessels, and they focus on the nipples?

So, I'm pulling the camera back and boosting the zoom. Those nips are magically rotating towards the center! (That's all they'll get from me. I'm not messing with that beautiful mesh.)

Mr Rid
12-13-2007, 08:53 PM
I got a new one.

I recently completed an animation for a medical device company. The Poser body was good enough up until the last minute, when they wanted "super accurate" anatomy, along with ALL the blood vessels visible through the skin.

So we bought $4,700 worth of mesh. Very accurate. Scanned from an actual person, and so on. They loved it, and now they want screen grabs at print resolution of a few different frames.

Sounds simple, right?

Here's the edit I got: Can you move the nipples in closer to the center of the chest?

Nipples. They've got their device, an accurate body model, miles of blood vessels, and they focus on the nipples?

So, I'm pulling the camera back and boosting the zoom. Those nips are magically rotating towards the center! (That's all they'll get from me. I'm not messing with that beautiful mesh.)

Yep, could've stuck with $30 Vicky 4 for that note.
BreastMorfs

Nangleator
12-13-2007, 09:22 PM
It would be nice to have that sort of control over... Never mind.

This is a dude model I'm talking about. Who gives a crap where the nipples are?

I'm thinking of using a bump with falloff and reference nulls. I'll be able to slide those puppies around wherever I want.

Nangle's rule #1: The harder it is to do, the more the customer needs you to do it. (So figure out the easy way first!)

Bog
06-11-2008, 03:10 PM
Nangle, the image of nipples chasing each other around a chest will keep me up all night.

You know, I don't believe I'd ever hear anyone say this, but on Monday my current producer, as we're hacking around with animatics, actually turns to me and says:

"That movement - that's perfect! That's the exact speed I need it to go. I just want you to make it take half the time."

8~

"You.... want it to move at that exact speed... and travel the same distance in half the time."

"Yes! That's exactly right!"

Someone please kill me.

rakker16mm
06-11-2008, 03:23 PM
Nangle, the image of nipples chasing each other around a chest will keep me up all night.

You know, I don't believe I'd ever hear anyone say this, but on Monday my current producer, as we're hacking around with animatics, actually turns to me and says:

"That movement - that's perfect! That's the exact speed I need it to go. I just want you to make it take half the time."

8~

"You.... want it to move at that exact speed... and travel the same distance in half the time."

"Yes! That's exactly right!"

Someone please kill me.

Meanwhile somewhere in an alternate universe our hero says "Sure no problem. When would you like that done by?"

Bog
06-11-2008, 03:26 PM
They're getting pretty much what they want, it was just such a startlingly... welll... CLIENTY thing to say.

Nangleator
06-12-2008, 07:16 AM
Nangle, the image of nipples chasing each other around a chest will keep me up all night.
That might make a good short film on the horrors of plastic surgery. "Dr. 90210's Nightmare"

Bog
06-27-2008, 04:12 AM
*glazed stare*

Okay. Same client. They wanted a one month production from me, which had a VO and music element. I said - at the very beginning - that they needed to get the VO edited *first* (ahhh, all the pros are already leaning back in their seats sucking air 'twixt their teeth..) and that I'd then do the CGI to the audio.

No, they flatly insist, do the animation first, and we'll cut the audio to it. Here, have a bunch of timecodes. Animatics are duly created to the timecodes. Changes are made to the timecodes. Alterations to the look of the project are requested. That which was diagrammatic is now requested as Highly Pretty. A renderfarm is hired, as the job is for HD final delivery.

Again, I say "This is an inefficient, wasteful way to work, re-animating everything twice a week. You need to lock down your VO, and then I will produce the finals to the VO".

No no, they say, no we don't work that way. We love what you're doing. It is beauty. Animate! Animate, Bog! Shower us with your pixels, and we'll cut the VO to the video!

I give the migraine salute, and pour my efforts into making things as pretty as possible, and as close to that day's set of timecodes (only five minutes of CGI in a 10 minute film, no biggie, it's fine I can re-time five minutes of complex work in a few clicks. Computer does all the work, right?)

Three weeks into the project, deadline looming like a cliff face, I start getting more timecode changes in on stuff that's been signed off. "For why?" I ask. "This has been signed off. Why, as I'm racing to complete everything that's been being put off while I re-time and re-time and re-time the preceeding stuff, am I being asked to change this now, post sign-off?"

"It does fit the VO. We need you to make these changes to all of it to make it fit the VO"

I did not scream. I did not shout. I did not send megatonne-yield emails, nor did I even leave more than a few bite-marks in the desk. I did say "by re-doing all this now, we won't have time to deliver at HD. It'll have to be anamorphic D1 to get it delivered in time.

"Fair enough" they say.

And so the job is delivered, grinding through unpaid overtime days (averaging 18 hours at the desk) and through two unpaid weekends (same timespan) and over-running on time by three days (unpaid, and cocking up my schedule on other work).

And then the client did ring up, and say "Where's my HD?"

And the conversation about running out of time and having to deliver anamorphic is reiterated.

"You promised HD. You're holding my job to ransom, is that it?"

And then it sort of went downhill from there. Comedy part? I've got an email from them for a list of amends, and another job they want done.

Hnnnnnnnnng.

Lightwolf
06-27-2008, 04:21 AM
Comedy part? I've got an email from them for a list of amends, and another job they want done.

...and they probably pat themselves on their collective backs for doing a good job producing the gig and keeping the pesky CG slacker at bay... *sigh*

Treat them badly, they'll love you for it ;)

Cheers,
Mike - who expects you at the boozer tonight btw!

Bog
06-27-2008, 04:26 AM
...and they probably pat themselves on their collective backs for doing a good job producing the gig and keeping the pesky CG slacker at bay... *sigh*

Treat them badly, they'll love you for it ;)

HA! HA! The producer knows why the job went lateral, he does! He told my chum Iain who I got in on the job as a subcontractor!

The job went lateral because we were working from home, where we couldn't be properly supervised!!!!

*spit*


Cheers,
Mike - who expects you at the boozer tonight btw!

Oh, good Christ... I'm seriously behind on my work... er... I'll try, I'll try...

flakester
06-27-2008, 04:28 AM
No, they flatly insist, do the animation first, and we'll cut the audio to it.

You know that the situation is never going to be 'anywhere near perfect' when clients say that.

I feel for you Dude.

flakester.

Andy Webb
06-27-2008, 04:36 AM
I don't know what all the fuss is about, at least you got time codes :(

Lightwolf
06-27-2008, 04:39 AM
The job went lateral because we were working from home, where we couldn't be properly supervised!!!!

Ah, it makes so much more sense now... :cursin:

Cheers,
Mike

Bog
06-27-2008, 04:46 AM
I don't know what all the fuss is about, at least you got time codes :(

Different ones, as often as twice a day.... none of which, in the end, were even close to accurate.

Nangleator
06-27-2008, 05:37 AM
Dammit, Bog, that's an awful story. Sadly, you could foresee the whole mess, but couldn't do anything about it.

Clients do like to fill up all the available time with their stupidity, though. And we get chomped on the butt every time we fail to charge by the hour. Or by rounds of edits. Of course, each of those strategies comes with its own circle of hell...

I'm in a corporate gig now, and not ever expecting any big jobs again. (Which means they'll start coming in.) If I ever do that to myself again, I'll first explain clearly to the client this story:

The five week job in five parts.
Week 1, part 1 is worked on.
Week 2, part 1 is sent in, part 2 is worked on.
Week 3, drop everything and redo part 1. Part 2 is now moot. Will have to be redone.
Week 4, new parts 1 and 2, and draft of part 3 sent in. Drop everything and redo 1, 2 and 3.
Week 5, drop everything and... you're going to get this done, right?

And in the end, the most polished part is the beginning. The most hacked together part is the last. To any audience member over the age of 3, something is TERRIBLY WRONG with the production. Bad animator! Bad!

Bog
06-27-2008, 06:16 AM
Dammit, Bog, that's an awful story. Sadly, you could foresee the whole mess, but couldn't do anything about it.

Yep. Yer classic slow-motion train-wreck. Hey, I've just noticed something funny - here's a copy-paste from the beginning of their "amends" email...


Hi Mark,

Would you kindly supply us with...

Hands up - who played Bioshock? :D

Steamthrower
06-27-2008, 06:52 AM
Never know, they might have genetically engineered you before birth.

Might be nice to them, I think they can give you brain spasms as well.

ted
06-27-2008, 11:17 PM
Client, (actually 3 clients), say a child of a friend of theirs will be a good talent for a major project for them with lots of on camera parts, interacting with animals and narrating the rest of the video.

Ted warns them professional talent will always yield better results, especially for the starring role in a project this important to them.
We do a sample read and Ted warns, “this kid is weak at best”.
Client insists he will work and Ted says, OK, we'll work with him.

After the FIRST scene on day one of a 4 day shoot Ted tells the client this kid isn't working.
Client says, "it ain't that bad".
Ted insists we go into the motor home and play the scene on a real TV.
Client agrees, then says the kid ain't that bad.

At the end of day one Ted insists that the client watches ALL the footage while there is still time to regroup and save the project.
Clients say "the kid ain't that bad".
Ted says, OK, we'll work with what we have.

After a weeklong editing session, clients take the video home, playS it for various parties.

Next morning Ted gets a call from PANICKED client saying "The kid didn't carry the project and now what do WE do"?
Ted politely explains doing an audio layback using a professional talent. Ted avoids saying I TOLD YOU SO!
Client says let’s do the audio layback and lip-sync and save the project.
Ted explains the cost.

HONEST TO GOD...
CLIENT SAYS THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PAY BECAUSE TED SAID HE WOULD WORK WITH WHAT WE HAD AND I SHOULD HAVE TOLD THEM THIS KID WASN'T WORKING. I SWEAR TO GOD THEY ACTUALLY TRIED TO HOLD ME TO DOING ALL THE RE-POSTING FOR FREE AND TED SHOULD PAY FOR THE NEW TALENT FEES AS WELL!!! :twak:

Needless to say, Ted got paid for re-editing the entire video that took almost as long to fix as it did to do it the first time. PLUS the talent fee.

Gotta love this story!

Dexter2999
06-28-2008, 12:01 AM
All of the stuff I do is strictly in house. So, I have the "luxury" of taking advantage of their ignorance. They ask me to redo stuff all the time and I just get to say "No, it won't be done in time." When I tell them I need audio first, they tried to give me the same song and dance about performance fitting the anim. I forced a the director to record a scratch track and the result was a rough. The rest is fudging key frames for me.
I also learned that the earlier I finish a project the more time they have to ask for changes. If I give it to them right at the final hour, they are more prone to just living with it.
I have also been sort of a douche and when asked "Can you change this?", I reply, "I COULD but it will take four days to render." (Knowing they need it in two days)

I have two really big advantages.
One, I am corporate and in house, so anything I do for them is saving them from going outside the company anyway. What I save them is almost double what my pay is.
Two, they have no idea what I really do. I am accurate when I explain things, but I stray into just enough technical terms that they realize they don't understand what they are asking for and they give up. You should see the eyes glaze over when you start talking about radiocity bounces. ;)

Jim_C
06-28-2008, 08:44 AM
Gotta love this story!

Yea but really Ted.....
The kid ain't that bad.


:rolleyes:

dsol
06-28-2008, 09:16 AM
Clients are generally easy to please. "WHAAAATT!!!" I hear you roar!

No seriously. Three words. If the client sees the anim you've done and thinks it's missing "something".

Then: Just... Add... Lenseflare!

Seriously, works every time. Though the stock LW ones don't really work nearly as well as the Knoll Light Factory ones (which themselves aren't as nice as real filmed flares)

iconoclasty
06-28-2008, 09:19 AM
I don't turn in any anim without at least 6 lens flares. It shows how professional I am.

ted
06-28-2008, 09:20 AM
Yea but really Ted.....
The kid ain't that bad.
:rolleyes:

:D:help::D

Nangleator
06-28-2008, 04:09 PM
There ought to be some sort of "Going against my good advice" contract for mid-project changes. I've also been hit with 1) Telling them it can't be done; 2) Being told I have to do it, anyway; 3) And it being all my fault when it wasn't done.

My contract would say, if I have to work against my good advice, I get all my pay up front. My god, that would revolutionize the business!

Dexter, most of my career has been in a similar situation. They key, which you've discovered, is that they don't understand the technical aspects at all.

flakester
06-28-2008, 05:00 PM
If the client sees the anim you've done and thinks it's missing "something".

.......... that would probably be the ability to sit down with the storyboards created for them from their own brief, and spend five minutes actually looking [and seeing] what it is they've asked for before saying 'good to go' - and then changing everything two thirds of the way through the gig.
:p :D

Most of our clients cannot, for love nor money, communicate in succinct terms what it is they want. Most of them find throughout the project what it is that they don't want..... but most seem unwilling to pay for this time spent exploring their own ignorance, and personal preference of content and style.

And - you'll love this one:
We've been on the phone recently trying to band our name about a little more - so I call this advertising agency. I can't track down the name of someone useful [yes - thought there might be someone useful there...] so just asked to speak to the 'head of creative'.

The answer was astounding.

"I'm sorry, we don't have a creative team; we're an advertising agency".

I did almost nose-belch into the phone with that. :help:

flakester.

Steamthrower
06-28-2008, 06:44 PM
No seriously. Three words. If the client sees the anim you've done and thinks it's missing "something".

Then: Just... Add... Lenseflare!

Man, it's pathetic but it's true. Clients fall for that like a fat kid for a chocolate cake. I've yet to figure out why.

That, and logos that light up from side to side.

loki74
06-28-2008, 07:00 PM
I don't turn in any anim without at least 6 lens flares. It shows how professional I am.

aaahahaha...!


XD


nice one.

kopperdrake
06-29-2008, 10:48 AM
"I'm sorry, we don't have a creative team; we're an advertising agency".

I did almost nose-belch into the phone with that. :help:

flakester.

ROFL. Perhaps they just plagiarise - I know it's unheard of in ad agencies but you never know ;)

kopperdrake
06-29-2008, 11:01 AM
2 more in this last month:

1

Remark from a new client within the first 10 minutes of meeting:

"I love getting involved with the design side of the job - I did 'A' level Graphic Design you know."

Me: <whimper>


2

We did a house cutaway image on behalf of our client, a marketing agency, for their UK-based client.

Client: "We've just had the Swedish branch of our client phone us up - they want the original 3D files so their graphic designer can make some changes themselves. They want to know can you send them in either EPS, PDF or PSD format, whichever's easiest."

;D

Nangleator
06-29-2008, 11:14 AM
...original 3D files ... either EPS, PDF or PSD format, whichever's easiest."
How do people still know so little about 3D?

I've even met "marketing communications" people and shown them my portfolio, and said, "I created that artwork in a 3D program," and had them reply, "So, you scan a picture..."

"No, no... I create it in the computer, like in a CAD system. And I have this virtual studio, with lights and a camera..."

"So you take digital pictures?"

"No."

"Oh. Who made this picture, then?"

I mean, really. I know that the "Special effects" and "Behind the scenes" specials on 3D extravaganzas only include one 2-second clip of a guy at a workstation, and in most of those, he's turned away from his work and talking to the camera, but people must have a clue by now, right? Especially people in "creative" jobs, right?

JamesCurtis
06-29-2008, 11:24 AM
Not Necessarily, with my current client [a marketing/ad agency, I'm having a hard time trying to get thier heads around the idea of how I work with and do 3D. They definately don't comprehend it very well and why it may take longer in some respects, but allows them more options if they want to recompose an image in any way. Image Resolution is another area I'm having a hard time getting through thier heads.

Nangleator
06-29-2008, 12:37 PM
Image resolution... Don't talk to be about image resolution...

I work for a scientific instrument company. The instruments output images up to 5,xxx x 4,xxx pixels, but what do I have to put on the tradeshow graphics? 1024x768. Sometimes less.

stevmjon
07-09-2008, 08:50 PM
a few years ago i did an animation for my boss, as a freeby. it was a vacuum pump animating together,to be used for a trade show. the boss asked if i could make a video or screensaver.

i did both and handed in the disc with each in its own folder.

second last day of tradeshow:
boss: "i'm glad i didn't pay you, i couldn't get the screensaver to work."

me: "what was the problem?"

boss: "we had to keep pressing play. it was annoying"

me: "it sounds like you took the video file. you could have selected play - loop - then fullscreen. it would have done the same thing as a screensaver."

boss: "oh." then walks away.

it makes you wonder, stevmjon

Andrewstopheles
07-09-2008, 09:24 PM
My favorite, true story,
"I don't want to pick a Pantone number because I don't know what that is. I want you to make it the same color as I see when I look into my pool in my backyard on a sunny day."

Andrewstopheles
07-09-2008, 09:41 PM
OK just remembered this one, almost the same but slightly off topic...
Me to boss "Can I order a cordless mouse? My cord keeps bumping into the pillar that runs through my desk" <-- literally
Boss "No problem." Orders it.
IT Manager the next day "Why do you need a cordless mouse?"
My response" My mouse cord keeps bumping into the pillar"
IT "Other people have wired mice and they don't complain about the pillar hitting it"
Me "Yeah but you know I work in Graphics, right?"
IT "Yeah"
Me "Well how do you expect me to draw a straight line if my mouse keeps hitting the pillar"
IT "OK that makes sense" and orders it.

Same IT idiot, three years later, calls a meeting with me and my boss and "rats me out" for installing "Moho" software on my Mac at work. (FYI Moho is vector animation, like Flash, with bones.)
IT Idiot "So why did you install this software"
Me "You know Illustrator is vector based right?" <--it's a prepress shop so Illustrator is our main layout program.
IT guy, trying to look intelligent "Yes of course"
Me "Well, Moho is just another vector graphics software and I wanted to see if it would be useful."
My boss Google's Moho to confirm.
ITGuy "Is it Vector?"
Boss "Yup"
IT guy apologizes and walks out. Boss and I laugh, cuz the boss is no idiot.

ted
07-09-2008, 10:32 PM
boss: "oh." then walks away.
stevmjon

Funny how a boss can throw crap your way and when you prove him/her wrong they only have to say "Oh" and walk away.

After 18 years of hearing "Oh", I started my own business. Now I get to say "Oh" and walk away! :D

ted
07-09-2008, 10:38 PM
Duplicate

Ratboy
07-11-2008, 11:09 AM
Not so much silly as completely unexpected: I had a client ask me how much it would cost to make a couple of small changes on work I'd just completed. :eek:

It was the first time I'd ever heard that, so it took me a moment to make sense of it.

Nangleator
07-11-2008, 11:15 AM
That just can't be! It's impossible! You must have misunderstood...

Nangleator
07-11-2008, 11:26 AM
"I don't want to pick a Pantone number because I don't know what that is. I want you to make it the same color as I see when I look into my pool in my backyard on a sunny day."
This is just so fabulously horrible.

My first reaction is, "You only see one color when you look at your pool in daylight?"

My next reaction is, no single color printable on paper or displayable on a monitor will make this man say, "Yes! That's it!"

shrox
07-11-2008, 08:15 PM
I don't turn in any anim without at least 6 lens flares. It shows how professional I am.

Lens flare, the glass earth globe and blue gradient backgrounds. It's retro 80's week!

shrox
07-11-2008, 08:17 PM
This is just so fabulously horrible.

My first reaction is, "You only see one color when you look at your pool in daylight?"

My next reaction is, no single color printable on paper or displayable on a monitor will make this man say, "Yes! That's it!"

Just take a shot of Jack Daniels and think to yourself, this is the color of my pee when I go in your damn pool...

Bog
08-26-2008, 05:05 AM
You know, I never ever thought I'd do this, but this takes the freaking cake. This client's been a pain in the butt since they first turned up in my life, but this just happenned. Bit of background for those in the US, the UK's just had a long weekend, so yesterday wasn't a work day.

"Mark, the client saw your Skype status set to 'Knuckling down to one last gig before strapping on a jet and leaving'".

"So?"

"Well, it sounds... he thought it sounded... thought it was like you weren't taking it seriously. Also that you're going on holiday."

"Wait, what? I only had Skype on over the Bank Holiday. Also 'Knuckling down' is a term for 'hard work'".

"Well he wasn't... he thinks...."

And I snapped.

"Also, what the hell difference does it make what my private, personal IM service says over a bank holiday? This is stupid."

And I hung up.

I've never done that before, but for some reason, the whining, passive-aggressive "I'm not saying you've done something wrong, but I'm going to complain anyway" tone just pushed all the wrong buttons this morning. I'm probably in the wrong - but maybe not.

flakester
08-26-2008, 05:13 AM
Dude, you did the right thing.

As you said, it shouldn't matter to them what your IM status says, you're not their *****. - As long as you're not bashing them via verbal means or public text that is.... in which case it probably would be a little unprofessional, but you still wouldn't be their *****.

Sometimes you have to put your foot down with clients in order to get some repect. If they take off in a huff and never come back, they're probably not the sort of clients you want to deal with in the first place.

I know where you're coming from Dude, good on ya. :thumbsup:

Nangleator
08-26-2008, 05:14 AM
Ah, the era of extensive background checks on freelancers begins...

Think you were clever on that extinct board back in '99? It's coming back to bite you.

colkai
08-26-2008, 05:29 AM
Mark, you had every right to react like that.
I've had similar things myself, when the boss complains about something I've done in MY spare time, with MY software that benefits the company. I just turn round and cease all such "help" and if they bring it up, remind them that my efforts were not in company time and that if they need it in future, then they know how much the software costs.

Thankfully, he's chilled a bit over the last 12 months!

T-Light
08-26-2008, 05:35 AM
Bog

"Mark, the client saw your Skype status set to 'Knuckling down to one last gig before strapping on a jet and leaving'".
:D
Do they also think you have a 'Strap on Jet'?

It's Britain, there's probably a law against this sort of behaviour, unless the clients local government, in which case, sadly, you're stuffed.

RebelHill
08-26-2008, 07:02 AM
It's Britain, there's probably a law against this sort of behaviour,

simply whispering the letters HRA is enough to shut most folks up for fear of litigation these days.

T-Light
08-26-2008, 08:25 AM
RebbelHill

simply whispering the letters HRA is enough to shut most folks up for fear of litigation these days.
Ah, the HRA (sits back and sighs), created when everything was good and proper with the world, pity it's been totally ignored by its creators ever since.

I think you've got a very good point though, Mark if your reading, if the client gets nasty, go HRA on their *ss, it's worth a try.

Bog
08-26-2008, 03:22 PM
Brent,

I'm reading, mate. In fact, I spent an hour prowling around the studio trying to figure out if eBaying my kit here would substitute for this job.

I'm relocating to the US next month, off my own dime. This job's worth almost a month and a half of crashing on mates' sofas in the US while I try to find a job. Otherwise I'd've already introduced them to my PA, Ms. Dialtone. And left it that way.

shrox
08-26-2008, 03:24 PM
Brent,

I'm reading, mate. In fact, I spent an hour prowling around the studio trying to figure out if eBaying my kit here would substitute for this job.

I'm relocating to the US next month, off my own dime. This job's worth almost a month and a half of crashing on mates' sofas in the US while I try to find a job. Otherwise I'd've already introduced them to my PA, Ms. Dialtone. And left it that way.


Hey Bog, I've got passpot and I want to go to the UK. Let's switch identities.

Bog
08-26-2008, 03:25 PM
*Waves US passport*

Sorry bro. Only one I've got - and I'm not giving up one that says "Kidnapped Abroad? Dial 1-800-MARINES" on the back page ;)

jayroth
08-26-2008, 03:39 PM
Mark,

sorry to tell you this, but you are their *****. Ain't that a *****, bro? :P

adamredwoods
08-26-2008, 03:53 PM
Mark,

sorry to tell you this, but you are their *****. Ain't that a *****, bro? :P

Sadly true.

I currently work for [BIG NAME MEGA-CORPORATION HERE] and they have to approve any contributions to any political parties that I would want to make.

Dexter2999
08-26-2008, 05:04 PM
Sadly true.

I currently work for [BIG NAME MEGA-CORPORATION HERE] and they have to approve any contributions to any political parties that I would want to make.


Which is such utter crap because most mega corporations contribute to both parties to hedge bets. Doesn't matter who wins...they just have to be beholden.

Captain Obvious
08-26-2008, 05:14 PM
Sadly true.

I currently work for [BIG NAME MEGA-CORPORATION HERE] and they have to approve any contributions to any political parties that I would want to make.
I'm fairly sure that's actually illegal.

Cougar12dk
08-26-2008, 05:17 PM
And if it isn't, it damned well should be! Who you work for shouldn't be able to control who you want to contribute to.

meatycheesyboy
08-26-2008, 05:26 PM
Okay. Same client. They wanted a one month production from me, which had a VO and music element. I said - at the very beginning - that they needed to get the VO edited *first* (ahhh, all the pros are already leaning back in their seats sucking air 'twixt their teeth..) and that I'd then do the CGI to the audio.

A few of my co-workers are dealing with a very similar situation right now but in a different medium.

I work primarily in the land of Powerpoint for a corporate presentations company. Last week we recieved a job from one of our biggest clients. They asked us to put together a presentation for a very high level exec. So we said, "Sure, no problem. Just get us the speech or the content and we'll get started." Their response, "No, no, do the visuals first then we'll add the content later."

What?!!!?!!!?!?!? I suggested that we just give them a presentation with random objects on each slide since their content could be just about anything. So, here's your cow slide, just add content. Here's your air conditioner slide, just add content.

I'm just glad I'm nopt the one working on that particular job.

T-Light
08-26-2008, 05:32 PM
Bog

Otherwise I'd've already introduced them to my PA, Ms. Dialtone
Ah, we don't DO dial tones, we have a panny with a girls voice saying

I'm sorry, no one's in right now, please leave a message, after the tone
Don't know what it is about her but She's single handedly managed to p*ss off everyone we've ever known.

If you come back, GET ONE :D

adamredwoods

I currently work for [BIG NAME MEGA-CORPORATION HERE] and they have to approve any contributions to any political parties that I would want to make.
Could it be a sanity check? I'm kidding, that's shocking. I heard the other month an American refer to your state as 'The Peoples Democratic Republic of California'. If they allow that sort of behaviour, I can see why.

Lightwolf
08-26-2008, 05:35 PM
I'm just glad I'm nopt the one working on that particular job.
The only way to do that is to sit down with the customer then and assemble it together... then maybe polish it off-site.
On a positive side, you get paid well for that kind of work and if you behave they tend to come back for more.

Surprisingly Powerpoint is still a mystery for all those MS Office people (who would probably do just as well using Write). *sigh*

Cheers,
Mike - who still thinks about opening a business design agency in the US and calling it "Kraftpunkt Gestaltung" for that extra teutonic oomph :D

adamredwoods
08-26-2008, 05:45 PM
I'm sure I could get away with small contributions. I pretty sure it's only enforced with BIG contributions and if I decided to host any "public" political fundraisers.

But the point is the legal system here. If it's documented, they'll use it against you. To gain the job, I had to sign many papers, which one was the political enforcement thing.

But still, look at how vastly things are copyrighted here in the US. Look at the nonsense with patents. It's a land of legal landmines.

Here's another example:
My brother was working for [BIG PHARMA] and he was doing side projects on his own, albeit related to pharma. Guess what? They investigated his projects, took them, slapped down an NDA, and them laid him off.

All legal, because he signed up for the job.

adamredwoods
08-26-2008, 05:48 PM
Could it be a sanity check? I'm kidding, that's shocking. I heard the other month an American refer to your state as 'The Peoples Democratic Republic of California'. If they allow that sort of behaviour, I can see why.

But we can own guns to our hearts content.

Andrewstopheles
08-26-2008, 05:52 PM
you did exactly the right point
swearing or name calling would've been a mistake but stating your opinion and ending the conversation is a good way to make a point, especially when it concerns personal things such as this
however, it must be said that your online status in any IM or twitter or facebook or otherwise reflects on your professionalism, so you can be saucy but there is a limit as it should be understoof d that YES it is personal but NO it is not private

Ratboy
08-26-2008, 06:00 PM
Ya did the right thing, Bog. Welcoming to America, please to be opening your luggage!

A while back, after a long, long string of tiny changes to what was supposed to be a really short job, I asked one of my clients to take off his tinfoil hat so I could read his mind more effectively. Fortunately, he thought that was funny...

T-Light
08-26-2008, 06:02 PM
adam

But we can own guns to our hearts content.
True, we can only have air and bb guns over here and they're even thinking of making those illegal. However, we can make campaign contributions to whoever we like, unfortunately they spend them on $8000 hair cuts for their wives (really), so we, er, choose not too.

Bog
08-26-2008, 06:29 PM
Boys, please don't go there. One reason I'm going home is because I'm badly hurt from being assaulted 15 metres from my front door. I still hurt, and I'm trying to complete my job with a fractured right thumb. Let's not get into comparative defence scenarios right now, OK?

shrox
08-26-2008, 07:03 PM
Boys, please don't go there. One reason I'm going home is because I'm badly hurt from being assaulted 15 metres from my front door. I still hurt, and I'm trying to complete my job with a fractured right thumb. Let's not get into comparative defence scenarios right now, OK?

If you haven't been in the US for awhile, things are a little different now. Gotta take your shoes off at airport security, but once you get outside Family Guy is in production again and the roads are a little less crowded because of gas prices , and oh yeah, we switched to metric road signs last month and now we drive on left...and all taxes are paid directly to me.

Bog
08-27-2008, 07:32 AM
I was in NYC in February (brr!) and LA in March. TSA Security Theatre's not actually that bad if you're used to living in or near London.

Which is saying something, really.