PDA

View Full Version : Moronic Job Postings....



destro969
07-27-2004, 11:23 PM
Experienced graphic designer needed
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2004-07-16, 5:23PM EDT

Need an experienced digital graphic designer to create, optimize, develop, program and trouble-shoot various websites. Must have at least 7 years experience, expert knowledge of all standard digital software, including AfterEffects and Maya studio or other 3d software. Must be able to speak 4 languages and have brown hair.
If hourly rate seems to low, we may consider training qualified candidate to work in our shipping department.
Serious responses only please.


Job location is downtown
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $5.75 per hour

Hervé
07-28-2004, 05:51 AM
?????:D

art
07-28-2004, 07:24 AM
Where I live, it's not even minimum wage. Many states are still at $5.15 though...

Hey, I've never thought of using AfterEffects for web dev. Maybe it has some hidden features.

NanoGator
07-28-2004, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by art
Hey, I've never thought of using AfterEffects for web dev. Maybe it has some hidden features.

Nar, it's out of the box stuff is cool for making animated gifs with scrolling text etc.

HowardM
07-28-2004, 10:30 AM
whats up with must have brown hair?!

somnambulance
07-28-2004, 10:50 AM
I could have some fun with this, where did you find it?

NanoGator
07-28-2004, 10:55 AM
Wanted: Windows 2000 System administrator. Must have 5+ years experience.

StevenDS
07-28-2004, 12:04 PM
on a -slightly- related topic, If you're someone who never went to college, and you come across a job posting that fits your skills and talents in every way except for the 'two years' or 'four years' 'college required', would you reply regardless? Should one? I'm thinking yes, as the worst thing that could happen is hearing 'no'.

-S

Original1
07-28-2004, 01:05 PM
Thats a missprint rate is $57.50

Original1
07-28-2004, 01:07 PM
Originally posted by StevenDS
on a -slightly- related topic, If you're someone who never went to college, and you come across a job posting that fits your skills and talents in every way except for the 'two years' or 'four years' 'college required', would you reply regardless? Should one? I'm thinking yes, as the worst thing that could happen is hearing 'no'.

-S


I sure would, one of the best Flash programmers I know never went to college, but hes been programming since he was 14.

riki
07-28-2004, 07:29 PM
I think this one is a joke, but I see these moronic job adds all the time.

"Dorkfest Designs" seeks junior web designer with 25 years experience, must know PHP, ASP CGI, CSS, ISP, VB, VD, STD .... must be cutting edge Flash Guru of the next Millennium and well versed in the intricacies of MYOB, AE, and Glider Pro............. :)

destro969
07-29-2004, 03:14 AM
Originally posted by Original1
I sure would, one of the best Flash programmers I know never went to college, but hes been programming since he was 14.


HAH, thats hilarious. I've been using Flash/ActionScript for seven years. I've just graduated and I have a national award for flash web design. Flash is the top skill in my skillset.


I've been looking for a job for almost six months. The only jobs I find are for E-Learning corporations, and even they are scarce.


I am good with lightwave too--I was GOING to get a job doing flash stuff while working on a killer lightwave reel, but I can't seem to find a job... and the only calls I get are from hiring managers/personel jockeys that don't know what the hell their talking about.

I was thinking of freelance, and some people at my university are convinced i should start my own company--i'm practically being forced into it.

The job above is not a fake, in fact, it's real... thats how IGNORANT some people are..... I know assembly, c++ pascal, perl, Java, etc.... but if I don't know SQL... I get written off for a job... which is bull****.... because anyone who knows assembly, C++ and Java will pick up SQL in about 5 milliseconds...


HERE IS ANOTHER ONE:


Is this what a designer does?
Need Designer

Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2004-06-16, 2:24PM PDT

Looking for a web designer that possess the following skills:

Adobe Photoshop & Illustrator
Adobe ImageReady
Adobe LiveMotion 2.0
Adobe Premier 6.0
Macromedia FireworksMX
Macromedia FlashMX
DreamweaverMX & FrontPage
Allaire HomeSite

DHTML, HTML & CSS
JavaScript
ASP/php
Microsoft IIS

Job pays $8.00/hr


Job location is los angeles
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
Compensation: 8.00/hr



I'm just bitchin'. I'm at my wits end here... thats all... I'm so frustrated that I can't even throw another fit. And I can't concentrate on doing anymore work for a portfolio or anything... becuase "well why should i spend 400 bazillion hours in lightwave modeling some girls face if no one is going to hire me or value it...... and people are going to tell me to get a job at giant eagle...."


-Tony




PS: somnambulance:

PBR!!! LOL!

Original1
07-29-2004, 07:50 AM
Hey Destro,

I wasn't joking, You would instantly know this member of the Flash Community if I told you who he was.

If you are in LA

Fluid are currently looking see this link.

http://www.flashguru.co.uk/

if you dont see it try.

http://www.flashguru.co.uk/000820.php

dwburman
07-29-2004, 08:28 AM
AE can export .swf files


Originally posted by art
Where I live, it's not even minimum wage. Many states are still at $5.15 though...

Hey, I've never thought of using AfterEffects for web dev. Maybe it has some hidden features.

art
07-29-2004, 09:07 AM
I understand that AE can manipulate movies and be useful for creating various media for the websites (I didnt know it can do flash, thats so cool).

My point was that they listed (first on the list) AE as the requirement for "creation, optimization, development, programming and trouble-shooting of various websites"

AE would be the last sotware I would think of being useful for development of the websites. Media aside, I use plain text editor to do that, but then, I work only on tiny websites. At least they could list dreamweaver or flash there.


Maybe it has some hidden features

That was supposed to be satire :)