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View Full Version : dartboards for sale - big discount!



saranine
03-06-2014, 08:28 PM
Dear Sir/Madam
May I seek your custom? Please peruse these exquisite teak dartboards.

First we have the blue dartboard with a reddish, green, bluey white and yellow set of four curvy squares as the bullseye. The perceptive customer may recognise this as the logo for Microsoft. Indeed, significant cathartic value is offered by chucking dirt, orange peel and eggs at this central bullseye point. Your hatred for "Metro" will fade away and you will feel far, far away from Windows 8. For even deeper satisfaction the deluxe dartboard has a picture of Steve Ballmer in the bullseye centre. There are plans to put the entire Microsoft executive on the board.

Next, we have a stupid triangle shaped dartboard with a partial "A" in the middle. The 'A' is white with a surrounding red colour. It can take awhile to unfold and stand this dartboard. It is full of plug in devices that force you to open it up slowly.

Last but not least, we come to another triangle shaped dartboard. This one is edged with a bluey greenish ribbon. The central bullseye says in small letters "autodesk". Soft rice paper images of Autodesk executives cover the board. Already the dartboard is dripping with mud, slime, ooze, dead flies and coleslaw. This clearly is the most maligned of the 3 dartboards.

Today's low, low price! All 3 dartboards for the subscription price of 39 dollars a month! Wow! What value!

Please note that the dartboards will connect via IPV6 to your mobile phone on a regular basis. Failure to meet this connection will see all dartboards explode. We regret to say that there will be no refunds in that case.

saranine
03-06-2014, 08:35 PM
p.s for anyone in Australia there is a special Australia tax on all 3 dartboards. 3000 extra bucks will be added to the cost of each dartboard. This is an unavoidable result of the Australian dollar, the Australian dollar, the position of the moon, what Bernard Bernanki had for supper last night, and the...position of the moon.

We at dartboard Inc sincerely apologise for any resulting inconvenience. We trust that our dartboards will still give you total satisfaction.

BokadCastle
03-06-2014, 09:38 PM
what?

BokadCastle
03-06-2014, 10:22 PM
I've been whacked...I'll sort this out, ruthlessly!

- - - Updated - - -

How dare you.


I've been sent an email from these people which I view as against the principles of this forum.

BokadCastle
03-06-2014, 10:59 PM
I will ask for this/these people to be excluded from this forum tomorrow when I have time.
Which I will do!

spherical
03-06-2014, 11:05 PM
Well, from what I've experienced, this has a flavor of an account being hacked. Looking through the aggregate of posts over the months, these two don't match up. Could be wrong, but....

BokadCastle
03-06-2014, 11:14 PM
This is fillfy - embarrassed.
No good.

BokadCastle
03-06-2014, 11:24 PM
Don't **** with me or I'll use you for a butt rag.

saranine
03-07-2014, 03:35 AM
Ok. No account has been hacked! Clearly my sense of humour has befuddled everyone. Too much Goons. Too much Monty Python. Maybe a dash of Peter Sellers.

It is a joke about 3 dartboards for sale that throw stuff at Microsoft, Adobe and Autodesk. It was mainly a go at Autodesk nuking Softimage.

Nobody laughed :( My career as a stand up comic is over :hey:

But I did fool people - it sounded so genuine that people thought that it was a hack? That is hilarious :devil:

3DGFXStudios
03-07-2014, 06:24 AM
But I did fool people - it sounded so genuine that people thought that it was a hack? That is hilarious :devil:

That's what I thought was funny about it :D I think they didn't read further than the first sentence ;)

GandB
03-07-2014, 07:54 AM
I got the humor; too bad they didn't.