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Cageman
07-27-2010, 07:11 PM
Dear LightWave Community,

A couple of days ago, I made a public thread here about OnlineRender and his "sick prank" on Skype. I did that because I honestly thought that OnlineRender was not really OnlineRender but someone else, and since I was "attacked", others might have been as well. He behaved very weird in a way that I did not recognize and I did what I felt was necessary and posted a public thread about my experience as a warning to other LightWave users. Given the timing of it all, with virus attacks at SpinQuad (which I visit everyday) I thought that something bad was going on, and this bad thing had infected my computer in a very wicked way. I'm not an expert on viruses or how that stuff works and in what ways others may obtain control over my computer... so I reacted upon fear rather than reason. Obviously I made a HUGE misstake! :(

Before I continue, I would like to ask NT to remove that thread, please. It doesn't serve any good now, and may cause more damage than good in the long run. So again, NT, please remove it.

Today, through a mutual friend of us I learned that just a couple of days before this incident, OnlineRender suffered from a personal tradegy. What that tradegy was is up to OnlineRender to tell, but clearly it has affected him deeply.

As humans, we all have our own ways to deal with tragic events and I believe that OnlineRender is no different to us.

I truly feel very bad about what I may have caused OnlineRender by posting that thread, especially now when I know why he clearly wasn't 100% himself. I have also learned that his intentions were not at all ill-meant, on the contrary, I learned that he actually looks up to me as an LW-artist, which makes this thing alot worse for me as well as for him.

So...

OnlineRender,

I'm deeply sorry for what this have caused you. It makes me feel bad and when I feel bad, I know I have done something wrong. I hope you will accept this appology. I hope you will come back stronger than ever!!!

I want to finish this letter with an encouragement to all you LW-users out there to send him good thoughts and encouragment!

/Mikael Burman

prometheus
07-28-2010, 02:51 AM
Thatīs a nice gesture of you Cageman, always good and a decent to think once or twice about your own posts, to be careful of not affending people by mistake or missunderstood conversations.

Were all people with feelings and capable of mistakes, recognizing that and
communicate that well to other people is helping oneself to personal growth and gains respect from other people.
And yeah sometimes we all have bad days..wich unfortunatly might reflect on posting threads.

I really havenīt followed the issue or so and I donīt know what personal tragedy online render had, I hope you two find the respect back for each other again.


as I recall in ancient myth history, different races of people were trying to build a great tower wich could reach to heaven, unfortunatly the races didnīt communicate well due to language problems, and they never could reach heaven.

Thatīs so very true in our world of conflict(recognize that?)
and personal matters as well.
:thumbsup:
Michael

Matt
07-28-2010, 03:53 AM
I'm sure Steve will appreciate this, very honorable of you Cageman.

OnlineRender
07-28-2010, 04:37 AM
Firstly it takes a big set of balls to say Sorry , so appreciate that . . .

Secondly personal tradagy or whatever life surroundings, no matter how extreme ,doesn't exempt or make an excuse for acting in the way I did , so in-turn I apologize sincerely to all and more so to yourself Mikeal .

Today I carry a coffin on my shoulder for the first time in my life ,it's just sadly ironic that it has to my oldmans ,now this cannot be used an excuse for the way acted/re-acted ,and again I apologize prophesly, personally I blame the 3days no sleep 2 bottles of vodka , 5 Pints of Budwiser , Bottle of Lambrighnin , 40 pain Killers and pretty much everything else that was available at the time :rock: . . but that's another story for another day .


It's taken me 20 minutes to write this much and I know for a fact when I hit send the page will have timmed out . .

I honestly can't put my words down on paper atm ,I'm going to drop off the radar for little while , recent events have shown me how much of a dik I have became , I have spent too much time sitting infront of a screen and forgot whom and what I am , I have became a nasty person for it , I don't like it ,it's not me ! . . . . .

So I suppose some may say it's the easy way out , and I would agree .

I have some advice/words if you care to pay attention :

Wear sunscreen .

F.A.O Cody , you are LW prodigy , you have something alot of people would kill for , not only the skill but the oppertunity , dont blow it ,grab it with both hands and ride it all night long ,Ill see your name on Avatar 2 .

Kat:I honestly thought it would be impossible to meet someone more Crazy than myself , you are 1 crazy Kat . goodluck

Wes:Nice SQ forums , looks sharp , dont know about the yellow and green logo but its heading in the right direction :thumbsup:

NT ) do the community / your company a big favour and offer MATT an offer he cant refuse ,trust me when I say this ,your profit / popularity will go up instantly

Cresshead : the world would be a better place if done more LW videos than MAX :devil:

Mikeal : you've got skills and balls

Larry : Be strong ! your work is a credit to us all . "ps the dongle offer still stands " :)

Shrox : Get a haircut ,it will maybe increase your chances ,just playing goodluck and stop showing off :rock:

Wrench : your probably one of the most decent ,honest , helpful human ,I know .

Everyone Else : I'll leave you with this .

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.

pEAce


if you need me [email protected]

biliousfrog
07-28-2010, 05:03 AM
Hey Steve.

I've attempted to write a few things but I don't have any words of wisdom. I hope that you get a chance to 'regroup', take some time out and get yourself back on track.

Take care buddy

Steve

OnlineRender
07-28-2010, 05:10 AM
Hey Steve.

I've attempted to write a few things but I don't have any words of wisdom. I hope that you get a chance to 'regroup', take some time out and get yourself back on track.

Take care buddy

Steve

Sorry I forgot to mention you Biliousfrog ,dont insult BMX owners :hey:

Matt
07-28-2010, 05:14 AM
Having lost both my parents I know what you're going through dude, hang in there, it will pass, never be the same, but will pass.

Should you need anything, I think I can safely say we're all here for you fella.

Come back soon.

Matt

zarti
07-28-2010, 05:14 AM
nice to see two forum members clear up things and reconciliate ...

sad to read about your tragedy , OnlineRender . condolences ... ( i too have passed through that ..)

true that we need to spend more off-screen time from our life .









p.s.: OnlineRender , replace some vodka with water ;)


.cheers

dballesg
07-28-2010, 05:27 AM
My condolences Steve.

I'm with Matt here, he has expressed way better than I could do it.

David

Kuzey
07-28-2010, 05:30 AM
OnlineRender, take all the time you need...enjoy the company of family and friends during this time and hopefully it'll get easier down the road.

Your posts have always put a smile on my face and many times I laughed out loud as well..so be strong, try to take it easy and whatever you do, keep that sense of humor.

All the best,

Kuzey

archijam
07-28-2010, 06:12 AM
All the best Steve.

lardbros
07-28-2010, 06:17 AM
Keep your pecker up!! What you wrote is deeply saddening... and I wish you all the best in your time away! Hoping you come back stronger and better (and funnier) than ever!!

Take it easy!
Tim

mikala
07-28-2010, 09:09 AM
Good on the both of you for this thread and my condolences to you OnlineRender.

cresshead
07-28-2010, 12:34 PM
take care dude, hope to see you back here soon.

MrWyatt
07-28-2010, 01:49 PM
My condolences to you Onlinerender. I guess few people imagine how you must feel right now, but in a couple of weeks I bet I will, maybe even days, who knows. My dad has a brain tumor and went from being ok to barely concious within the last two weeks. I cannot imagine a world without him, but I guess that is a lesson we all have to learn sooner or later.

As I said. My thoughts and feelings are with you bro.

but I am more of a white russian guy. (mental note to myself: will have to buy a new bottle of kahlua soon)

Sarford
07-28-2010, 01:52 PM
Much strength to you and your family Steve, I know what you go through, hang in there, it will get better. Strength mate!

wyattharris
07-28-2010, 02:37 PM
I don't know you personally OnlineRender other than what I've read here. I just wanted to relate that 3 years ago I went through something that would tear the heart out of any man.

The best advice I got was that time heals. Right now, grieve, cry, whatever it takes. Things will get better and eventually you'll get through this. The pain never really goes away but it will seem less in time.

*Pete*
07-28-2010, 06:15 PM
as I recall in ancient myth history, different races of people were trying to build a great tower wich could reach to heaven, unfortunatly the races didnīt communicate well due to language problems, and they never could reach heaven.


the tower of babylon.


humans, being one race and one people at the time, tried to build a tower to reach as high as to the gods themselfs.

to prevent this happening, the gods gave the men many languages and thus prevented all cooperation and instead cause separation and fighting.

the construction of the tower was therefore never finished...



communication is vital...even if the all speak english and even if we all communicate over the net with eachother, we lack the means to communitace "in person" with eachother...smileys help only so much, but a lot of the internet-fights are caused not by ill-will, but by misunderstandings.

its nice by Cageman to recognice this fact...no wonder you Swedes didnt have a war for...what, 400 years now? :D


that said...Onlinerender is one my favourites here...i love his humour :D
id recognice him no matter what name he would be using just on that ;)

*Pete*
07-28-2010, 06:23 PM
Today I carry a coffin on my shoulder for the first time in my life

my condoleances.


and, im sure, the condoloeances from all of the community here at NT forums.

MooseDog
07-28-2010, 07:52 PM
my condolences to you onlinerender, and my congratulations to you cageman. stand-up behavior from both of you. color me impressed.

as to tragedy, this sounds painfully, mundanely trite; but onlinerender time is on your side. one day at a time, even if that particular day is two steps backward, is an accomplishment. and it adds up.........in time. been there. best wishes,

-robin

Silkrooster
07-28-2010, 10:45 PM
You have my condolences. I know what you are going through, just been there back in October. Just take your time and your friends will be waiting for you when your ready.

Lightwolf
07-28-2010, 10:52 PM
My condolences as well. Hang in there man, we're with you.

Cheers,
Mike
P.S. Yeah, and it is good to see you guys working things out.

wrench
07-29-2010, 12:40 AM
My public condolences to you here Steph, and beautifully written words Mikael.

B

*Pete*
07-29-2010, 02:43 AM
the tower of babylon.



Tower of babel...i mean.

prometheus
07-29-2010, 03:07 AM
the tower of babylon.


humans, being one race and one people at the time, tried to build a tower to reach as high as to the gods themselfs.

to prevent this happening, the gods gave the men many languages and thus prevented all cooperation and instead cause separation and fighting.

the construction of the tower was therefore never finished...



communication is vital...even if the all speak english and even if we all communicate over the net with eachother, we lack the means to communitace "in person" with eachother...smileys help only so much, but a lot of the internet-fights are caused not by ill-will, but by misunderstandings.

its nice by Cageman to recognice this fact...no wonder you Swedes didnt have a war for...what, 400 years now? :D


that said...Onlinerender is one my favourites here...i love his humour :D
id recognice him no matter what name he would be using just on that ;)

Yeah you described the myth of babylon better there.
futuristic scifi adventure Babylon 5 deals with it too.

last swedish war, donīt you remember that?:)
1814 campaign against norway.

heres an interesting war list over the last years.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_involving_Sweden

Michael

3dworks
07-29-2010, 03:42 AM
followed that crazyness on skype, glad to see a 'soulful' resolution here, sad to hear the reason of it. condolences also from me, steve.

markus

oliversimonnet
07-29-2010, 03:52 AM
My condolences Onlinerender, i know how you feel man, iv been there 2 times in the past four years, so i know how you feel man, my thoughts are with you. :) just keep your chin up and be strong pal, and it will get better :)

shrox
07-29-2010, 09:16 AM
We love you friend.

Nangleator
07-29-2010, 09:43 AM
Feel better and return to us, OnlineRender!

TheDeacon
07-29-2010, 10:11 AM
Pix-elated here for The Deacon... Steve, my heart goes out to you. I wondered if I could pull this off, being a n00b to these forums. I now realize that you are all so much more than cool names and pix on a screen. I envy The Deacon and the relationship he has with all of you - that, and what you share with each other. He will be back on Monday. I hope I have done this justice. SIGGRAPH news coming shortly.

Exception
07-31-2010, 05:24 PM
Onlinerender,

My sincere condolences. I wish you much strength.

Thank you both for showing us human character that is exceptional. That's truly rare to see.

probiner
07-31-2010, 06:18 PM
Best wishes mate!
I know what is like to take a long look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself and feel angry for letting your dreams and yourself down,first, and the ones you like, secondly and be trapped into a "monster".
As for your loss, i can't imagine what you are going through, but it's visible, your will to better carry on the name and life that faded but was passed to you, first.
Keep up.

antsj
07-31-2010, 11:26 PM
Online Render,

Sorry to hear the first experience. May time, friends & family and your journey lighten the experience.

Cageman, the humble apology was a great reminder to me of the importance to reach out to some one as opposed to holding a place or point.

peace,

aj

CGI Addict
07-31-2010, 11:37 PM
I want to echo what has been said here by many in very eloquent words. Condolences Online Render to you and your loved ones. Sounds like you have a big extension to your family right here on this forum.

kurv
07-31-2010, 11:44 PM
Onlinerender, it was good talking to you in private and getting to know you better. Take care of yourself, and please... get some rest and come back refreshed.

My sincerest condolences... :)

:beerchug:

LW_Will
08-01-2010, 02:44 AM
Sorry for your loss. See you around...